Bargain Alert!

Piperlime.com is having a tag sale! For those that don't know, Piperline is an online shoe store. They usually have great deals anyway, but right now some of their less-expensive style are on sale for as much as 50% off. And they even have free shipping and returns! Could your day get any better? I think not.

Personally, I love:

bandolino "fabriana": originally $69, now $40.99

charles by charles david "banter": originally $180, now $134.99

charles david "slant": originally $250, now $186.99

chinese laundry "darci": originally $70, now $51.99

keds "eleanor": originally $40, now $31.99

martinez valero "jaxy": originally $135, now $66.99

AND THIS IS FOR YOU, COVINO

nine west "denham": originally $69, now $59.99

Happy shopping!

Advent Calendar Fun-Treat: December 20th

Who doesn't love Audrey Hepburn? And sleep? Fascists, that's who. Don't be a fascist.

I Wish I Thought of This Sooner

Good news, people: I have survived my first ever barrage of college finals. It was a harrowing ordeal. I'm still in therapy from having taken Chemistry 101 and that, as I frantically corrected the African-American Literature final paper that I put off doing until the last minute even after being given an extra twenty-four hours to finish it due to snow, the fire alarm was pulled. That's when I wept. No, I will risk the fire, you crazy people! Don't you know my paper is due in seven minutes?!

I'm home now. And I'd like to forget that week of my life. What are these finals you speak of? I never even took any classes! Really. I'm focusing on the aroma of freshly-baked brownies that I squeezed out of a tube. Pillsbury rules. They have taken my brownie experience to a new level in that they have made brownie batter a similar consistency to cookie dough. I'm also thinking about how I shall once again read for pleasure, which I haven't done effectively since 4th grade or so due to the Nazi-lead organization that claims to be the American school system. How dare they assign my reading! And there's also the fact that I have pretty much decided to become a famous slam poet. Step 1 in this process will be to actually write a slam poem.

Anyway, I came up with the best idea earlier. It happened in the shower, of course, because all good ideas start there (you can bet the dude who invented clapper lights was in the shower when inspiration struck).

FASHION ADVENT CALENDAR! AHHHHH! WHOOOO! YOU GET VASELINE! AND YOU GET VASELINE! WHOOOOO!

So, like, for the next whole less-than-a-week, I will update every day with a special little Advent calendar fun-treat! I will give a link to something fashiony and awesome along with some of my own comments. And maybe next year I won't be able to stupidly not think of something so obviously rockin'.

Enjoy!

Advent Calendar Fun-Treat: December 19th

This is a double-breasted coat. This is a black double-breasted coat. Boring, right? Wrong! This coat is made of cashmere. One-hundred-percent cashmere. God, if I wish I were a non-slutty Paris Hilton so I could actually afford it. Damn you, Paris.

Doin' it Dorky Style

Yo, yo, yo, bitches! If y'all wanna show mad love fo' yo' fave chess clubba, marchin' band memba, teacha's pet, ek-cetra, fredflare.com's got yo' back, g! They might not be all iced out, but this is a fashion statement that hollas "Don't mess wit me, dawg!"

nerd + dork ring set (fredflare.com): $18

The hella sick part is the set comes wit one fo' you and one fo' yo' g-unit. Y'all be gangstas fo' lyfe togetha.

How Not to be a Bankrupt Bag Hag, Figure 2, Gold Clutch Edition

coach clutch (coach.com): $348

OR

new york & company 34th street clutch (newyorkandcompany.com): $12.95

Yes, This Really Has Cat Ears

One time, I was enjoying Panera with Covino and I looked out the window to see, to my horror, a girl being goth and wearing cat ears. I kid you not.

I hoped I'd never have to relive that moment, but here it is, except far less gothic and displaying a total disregard for the fact that cats almost never come in polka-dot. And I don't know how to feel. I was just discovering the wonders of Delia's, but now that love makes me feel dirty.

How could you, Delias?

delias.com: $44.50 (but don't buy it)

Masquerade Madness

I only have just over two mere months to find a kickass dress for my university's annual masquerade ball, and I'm freaking out. Keep in mind that I only found out when it is about a half hour ago. Oh, and the fact that I spend way too much money on frivolity to really be able to afford a kickass dress. But will that stop me? Of course not.

karolina kurkova, dior haute couture fall/winter 2004

Something to this effect will have to do.

How Not to be a Bankrupt Bag Hag, Figure 1B

ann taylor loft quilted and patent bag: $59

OR

old navy quilted bag in black: $22.50

I know I just talked about the same exact Old Navy bag the other day except in a different color and compared to a more expensive bag. When I came across its Ann Taylor Loft doppleganger, however, I had to post it again. I find this an excellent example of saving money and getting pretty much the same product. No need to thank me.

My Ankle: A Gift From Me to You

irregular choice cuff shoe (asos.com): $152

At least it will be nicely wrapped. Good luck trying to peek!

How Not to be a Bankrupt Bag Hag, Figure 1

diorissimo boston bag by dior (eluxury.com): $750

OR

women's quilted tote in camel, oldnavy.com: $22.50

Little Red Riding Coat

Question: What's better than being up at 2:15 in the morning on a Monday, drinking canned Arizona Green Tea and blogging?

Answer: a red coat.

I have wanted a red coat for months now, ever since I saw an anonymous girl walking to class in one on a rainy day. I had a purpose in life from then on: find a glamorous piece of the like to call my own. Covino and I got right on it, scouring the internet for all traces of crimson glory.

What with toggle coats being so popular, it was almost difficult to find a regular old double-breasted red coat. Also, I'm not a huge fan of wool. I know, I know, wool is great for winter and looks infinitely better than an equally warm puffer, but my delicate, princess-and-the-pea-esque skin simply cannot take a trace of itchiness. Also, I desperately needed a coat with full-length sleeves to brave the New England winter climate, since, to be honest, two of my favorite practical and fabulous coats are currently out of action until I put an end to my sordid love affair with the vending machine. Damn you, Oreo Cakesters, why can't I quit you?

Out-of-style Brokeback Mountain jokes aside, one day, I happened upon delias.com, which isn't one of the sites I regularly visit (I know almost every item on the Old Navy site, shamefully). Lo and behold, I saw the most amazing thing I ever imagined. Double-breasted! Cotton! Sleeves! Red like... oh, God, like something red! Like something red that I've dreamed about every night, only to wake up having disappointingly cocooned myself in my scarlet sheets. And compared to a coat I fell in lust with at J.Crew, it was a steal at only $68.50! That's incredibly cheap when it comes to making dreams come true.

I bought.

I waited.

And then one day, I received a package. And I took that package and ran like the dickens ("the dickens" being a phrase that needs to work its way back into popular language, by the way) back to my room in hopes that the damn thing would fit and I would be the happiest girl in the world.

It fits like a glove. I was afraid that it would be small, since Delias tends to run teeny, but it was exactly right. A single tear formed in my right eye. I thanked the Patron Saint of Outerwear-- Marc Jacobs?-- for his blessings.

me and the love of my life

This picture brought to my attention the fact this coat seriously needs an ironing, but I digress. And the shoes I'm wearing? Well, those beauties are for another post on the joys of metallics and Macy*s shoe sale racks.

As the owner of the best coat I ever dreamed of, I now follow several policies, set in stone, much like Hammurabi's Code.

1. Do not touch The Coat without authorization. Preferrably, you will be wearing sterile gloves.
2. The Coat is to be hung at all times when not on the body of its owner.
3. The Coat will not be lent out, unless dire circumstances exist.
4. The Coat will not be paired with scarves that shed tiny fuzzies, forcing its owner to cry and lint roll for long, tiring minutes.
5. Under no circumstances will there be spills that tarnish The Coat.
6. Under no circumstances will there be crumbs mercilessly tainting The Coat with their heinous touch.
7. Pray facing The Coat five times a day.
8. The Coat shalt not be compared with other coats. It is greater by far.
9. The Coat shall be praised aloud and with sincerity, no matter who's listening.
10. There is no Coat but The Coat, and God Himself is Its prophet.

Blasphemy? Where?

[unfortunately, this coat is no longer found on the delias website, last time I checked]

For the Sake of Mental Imagery...

jean paul gaultier menswear summer 2008

This is kind've what the man in my life looks like, sans see-through shirt. Not only will he carry the bags, but he's reminiscent of a nameless fashion model. Life is good.

p.s. to covino: and he's not military-affiliated!