On Body-Positive Blogging and Why We Need It

found here

Relatively recently (okay, a month ago) an article ran on Refinery29 about body-positive blogs and whether they are truly of benefit to the people who write and read them. As you can imagine, I was really interested in what the writer, Katie J.M. Baker, had to say on the matter, which I can basically sum up as the following (the tl;dr version, if you will): body-positive blogs are kinda good because they encourage self-acceptance, but they're also hurtful because they're a venue through which young girls to compete with one another and fish for compliments, for approval from strangers.

Now, this post here will not be meant as a complex analysis of the article, which raises some interesting issues that I definitely see coming up with body blogging. What I want to do instead is reflect on the nature of this blog in an attempt to show what kind of purpose these blogs can serve.

Body-positive blogging, for me, is cathartic. It has been a challenge, emotionally-speaking, to turn this blog into a very public window into my life for the sake of helping others. I see sharing personal triumphs and tribulations as a way to create a circle of support not just for myself but for the people who read this blog as well.

There have been many instances when I was concerned about this blog becoming a too self-centered. The one instance that comes to mind immediately is Love 365, which was, for any newcomers, when I wrote down one positive thing about myself every day for one year and posted my list every Friday. Before I started it, I discussed the idea of Love 365 with my boyfriend because I wondered if it was too navel-gazing a journey to embark on in public. Would anyone on the Internet care about what I like about me? Would my readers be completely turned off? After all, we're sort of encouraged to be overly-modest: admitting you're awesome often gets interpreted as arrogant instead of confident. But seeing how awful some people-- including myself-- can feel about themselves, I wanted to make a statement that would work toward changing that. It's okay to love yourself. You're awesome and that's totally fine and you should shout it from the rooftops. I invited my readers to participate in the project and hoped for the best.

I was, honestly, overwhelmed by the response. Did my little campaign go viral? No. But did it get enough responses to leave me humbled? Absolutely. I was so taken aback by all the positive responses (and the lack of negativity). I was honored to see strangers on the Internet e-mail me their love affirmations for the week and commenting with positive thoughts about themselves, often about their bodies. That's a special thing. Maybe I didn't start a worldwide movement, but in 2010, I know a whole bunch of my readers took the time to think about themselves as beautiful, worthwhile and totally okay for even just long enough to write an e-mail. It was amazing.

I feel the same way about the response I've seen to posts about my struggles to love and accept the body I'm in. I've become determined to make this blog heavily feature personal narratives, because I think personal stories hit home in a way that more straightforward articles simply can't. We sometimes have to be reminded that inside these bodies are souls that are strong, that hurt, that feel deeply, that survive. It seems that when I post the stories I'm most afraid to share-- that I sometimes also think are most narcissistic-- that I get the most wonderfully-positive responses. There is something about a stranger on the Internet spilling her guts that brings forth a whole ton of emotions in a reader; I know that because those are the articles I respond best to and because of you.

I will never stop being amazed by the kind of comments and e-mails this blog gets. When I write something that touches something in someone else-- that causes them to, in turn, tell me their story-- I know what I'm doing isn't just narcissistic. Body-positive blogging isn't all about getting compliments and seeking approval: what I get out of it is the incredible feeling that comes when you realize another person felt a little bit better because you said what they've felt. Not everyone wants to share their human experience with the Internet, but if I can share mine in a way that makes others feel as if their story is out there, that's enough.

Because of the nature of the Internet, blogging can easily turn into a competition to get the most hits, the most reblogs and retweets, the most "likes" and all that. It can turn into a search for approval, and as a person entering the field of journalism, of course I write with the hope that people like what I have to say. But as I've matured as a blogger and as person, I've discovered many things that are much better than stats that make blogging meaningful.

Body-positive blogging is wonderful because you get to see your readers relate to you. It helps both of you to not feel so alone.

It's wonderful because you might someday get an e-mail saying that you inspired someone to try not to hate how they look so much. It helps both of you to feel hopeful.

It's wonderful because you might someday read a comment in which someone tells a story they've never told before because your openness has helped them be brave. It helps both of you to be courageous.

It's wonderful because you and your readers are undertaking a challenge together when you write and read body-positive blogs: to learn to love everyone, including yourselves, unconditionally.

Are these blogs narcissistic? Yes, a little. Do people write them looking to "win" something? Of course. But the good far outweighs the bad, and the blogosphere would be a very different place: one worse off for a lack of candid stories and open hearts.


What do you think about body-positive blogs? What makes them great? What makes them, well, not so great sometimes? If you blog about body image, what has the experience been like for you?

Why I Read Men's Journal

As you might expect if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, I'm not a huge fan of the lady-mags. We're all familiar with the way magazines targeted at women are written, and I think most of us could write one ourselves if given the opportunity. You need an article about what men want in bed, an article about how to lose weight (hint: the answer will always be diet and exercise, but you have to make it sound like you're revealing a secret), an article about something chocolatey that you shouldn't be eating, an article about the really Photoshopped 20-something on the cover, and something about fashion for all sizes that will really be more like fashion for a variety of shapes within the size range of 0-10. Sigh.

I used to really enjoy reading lady-mags at the gym. Other than when I go to Barnes and Noble, this is really the only time I pick up Cosmo and the like, which is quite all right with me. Recently when I was at the gym, though, there were no "good" magazines-- and by that I mean no silly, trite issue of Cosmo or Redbook, no People or US with terrible and awesome bikini bodies. It was a dilemma. So I did something I hadn't done in awhile: pick up Men's Journal.

You guys, I am a convert.

Now I know a lot of men would definitely argue that men's magazines enforce beauty standards for men-- being big and buff rather than slender and fragile-- and I won't say that isn't true. But I have to say, honestly, even the spin that Men's Journal put on their diet and exercise articles is a lot more palatable than what I see in the typical Women's Fitness and the like. The fitness articles in the men's magazines I've read-- men's magazines, I have to note, that are not specifically body-building rags-- are actually fantastic. They emphasize the pursuit of actual fitness and strength rather than the kind of body you're aiming to achieve, or at the very least they tend to say things like "this exercise is healthy for you and you'll also get abs" instead of "do crunches, get skinny!" (Note that the cover I used for this post's picture advertises a "high-performance" breakfast-- not a low-calorie breakfast or the like).

I picked up an issue that featured vegan athletes, and the article turned out to be really interesting. In a women's publication I imagine this kind of article would, again, put a large focus on athletes getting trim, but instead it emphasized the scientific aspects of veganism and how it helps build healthier muscle and sustain your energy levels.

There was an amazing piece on Michael Douglas, and it was just so refreshing to see a person on the cover not dressed up in pretty clothes and scrutinized over their weight loss or gain or their romantic interests. Any talk of Douglas and his looks or relationships seemed to directly relate to the narrative the journalist was trying to create, rather than being an essential talking-point just because.

I loved seeing a football-player dressed up in tweed and the like in a photospread, but that might just be me. (You might argue that for a men's magazine, this is the equivalent of a super-thin model, simply because conceptions of the ideal vary by gender. Men idolize big sports players and women idolize models. I'm sure this does have some effect on the male readership).

Also, the ads. Oh, the ads! So good! One that stood out to me was an ad for almonds. Let me explain: this ad featured a man riding a bike and a caption about how almonds give you the heart to perform. All I could think about when I saw this ad was how many lady-mags I've seen that have but one thing to say about almonds: they keep you full so you can be skinny! Celebrity X eats a handful of almonds for breakfast every day! Almonds-- not for your health, for your waistline! ALMONDS WILL MAKE YOU THIN! No, none of that crap here. Almonds are good, healthy fuel for your body. Overall, there was a general lack of beauty and weight loss products-- there may have been a protein powder or two, but the subliminal messages weren't nearly as common.

So this may just be a giant rant about how in love I suddenly am with Men's Journal. I pick it up every time I'm in the gym now, and it's truly fantastic. I love that the writing isn't fluff, that it's political and scientific and informative and deep. I love that it doesn't shove beauty standards down my throat-- and that it seems, at least from my female perspective, to not pressure men to look a certain way quite as much as some other man-targeted magazines. I actually just checked out their Mind and Body section online and it seems to have some awesome articles: Meditation! Workout playlists! Jack LaLanne! Microbes!

I found looking at Men's Journal empowering-- but disappointing at the same time. Women need something like this. I think many of the female-targeted publications really fall short of their potential to be critical and fun. Women like to think-- we do. We don't only care about celebrities and the new diet craze. We deserve a better magazine industry. There are small publications that are doing great things, I'm sure, but the majority of what I see on the newsstands isn't all that engaging, and it underestimates us. We'll get what we demand, and though men's magazines as a whole are certainly not without fault (some are quite misogynistic and macho, don't get me wrong), it seems that they do a lot more intelligent, well-rounded coverage. Maybe it's part of the idea that men are "everyone" and women are "the rest"-- but either way, we need to start asking for more, because it's out there. It's possible. And publications like these are the ones deserving of support, not the ones that encourage people to feel bad about themselves for a buck.

The easiest way to vote is to vote with your wallet. Buy only the glossies that you feel good about.

I tell you, fellow ladies, I will never (okay, maybe very occasionally) pick up a lady-mag again-- and I will certainly never pay for one. As soon as that Vogue subscription runs out, I know what I'm replacing it with.


So I ask you: have you ever picked up a men's magazine? What did you think? Why did you like it-- or why not?