Thursday, January 21, 2010

On the Acceptance of Compliments

found on weheartit

So you get up late, right? You throw on some clothes, put on some mascara (maybe) and head to class or work. You may or may not have forgotten to shower, which seems to be icing on the disaster cake that is your morning.

You arrive at your destination. It's not long before someone tells you you look amazing today. You laugh and reply, "no, I don't!"

This is a problem.

And let's say... let's just say you didn't have such a difficult morning. Let's say you got all dressed up and your hair looks perfect and you're wearing those cool new shoes you got on sale the other day. And now someone compliments you. Do you take it? You're probably more likely to, but in my experience giving and receiving compliments, it's reasonably likely you'll blush and something like "oh, no, I mean, I didn't even put on eyeshadow" or make some sort of excuse to brush it off.

Not that I'm accusing you. But when you look good and you don't take the compliment? This is a problem.

I see it all the time, and I can tell for certain I've done it myself. And you know what? I think it's just terrible and that we all need to cut it out.

First of all, I think we live in a society where taking compliments, saying thank you, agreeing with someone who thinks something about you in particularly awesome, is a little taboo. If you say, "why, thank you, I did something a little different with my hair today and I think it came out great, too!" you're being stuck-up. But if someone takes the time to point it out, why not bask in the glory that is you for a moment?

And you are glorious. You're glorious enough that someone felt the need to announce it, and that's pretty darn awesome, if you ask me. If someone says your hair looks great and you're just all taken aback because you think it's hideous and greasy... well, I mean, it must not look as terrible as you think if someone likes it, right? I don't think most people give out compliments all willy-nilly, and especially not if they really don't like what they're commenting on (and if you know someone who gives sarcastic compliments to be mean, promptly remove that person from your life because he or she is obviously not someone you should be friends with).

When someone compliments you, for goodness' sake be gracious! Say "thank you," even a little half-heartedly if that's all you can manage. Of course, I'd like it if you could manage being totally thrilled and beaming a little bit more than you feel is modest, but you have to start somewhere.

The next time you get a compliment, thank the person who gave it and have a long, hard think about what they said. Believe it or not, you are stylish, you do have nice hair, yellow totally is your color, and your skin? As flawless as that friend or stranger says it is. Repeat all the kind words you hear until you've internalized them, until you truly believe them without even trying.

Do you normally take compliments or deflect them?


Tarryn said...

Here Here! I think we should try to compliment people more actively, I think the reason why people are so taken aback is because people don't hand them out often enough!

Great Post!


Bebo said...

In real life, I deflect all the way! But I'm working on it. :)

amanda said...

Sing it!

I'm rather terrible at taking compliments gracefully. I blush and shuffle and say obnoxiously self-deprecating things. Accepting compliments is my New Year's resolution: why yes, my outfit is fabulous! It took me half an hour and 345768 wardrobe changes, but yes! I look amazing in this dress. Thank you; you look gorgeous, too!

ThatOneChick said...

In high school, sophmore year, I had an awesome Speech teacher.

We had to record the compliments we received for a week, and our responses. Then she brought to our attention that none of us would simply say, "Thank you."

Friends would compliment my artwork and I'd say, "It could be better." In fact, that had been my response my whole life to every compliment.

She then made us sit in a circle, compliment each other &accept every compliment or you FAILED, lmao. After that, I just learned to say thank you and smile.[:


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