Thursday, September 30, 2010
Letters to That Guy That Holds the Door Too Long
Dear Guy That Holds the Door Too Long,
I've been running into you a lot lately. I mean, first, let me just say that I appreciate the gesture. It's really nice of you to try and be considerate and I always feel somehow worthy and attractive and tons of sappy stuff when people bother to show me a bit of courtesy.
However, I demand that you cease and desist. I'm not trying to put you down-- this is for both of us. I know how awkward you must feel when you realize that I'm way farther away and a far slower walker than you anticipated and that you're just going to have to stand there and look pleasant yet nonchalant for a whole twenty seconds. Unless I run. And you know I feel obligated to do so, and of course it looks stupid. I look stupid trotting eagerly up to the door just so I can thank you and save us both some time. You feel the way I look.
I'm not sure how to say this but-- and I know this seems to go against all preconceived notions of chivalry-- let the door go. Door-holding is nice, but I'm fully capable of opening it myself. You don't need to wait for me. I will be okay. In fact, I want to open it myself. Whenever I see you walking just a little too far ahead of me in close proximity to a building I start to panic. For the love of God, just shrug at me and go inside. I'll appreciate it, I promise.
After all, nothing could make you any worse than Guy That Doesn't Say Thanks When I Hold The Door.
What's one of your politeness pet peeves?