How Not to be a Bankrupt Baghag

Valentino, $850

OR

Macy's, $38

What Would You Do for a Loeffler Randall Bag?

loeffler randall bag: $685 at eluxury.com

I was looking for a new installment of "How Not to be a Bankrupt Bag Hag," but then I saw this handbag and got so distracted that I don't even think I slept last night. I don't really remember if I did. If I slept, I'm sure I dreamt of waking up in this beauty's handles.

So what would I do for this bag? (NOTE: Other than saving the money for it, because we all know honest work is not the way to go.)

1. Become a cherubic British street urchin.
2. Start a lucrative business in stretchy, beaded friendship bracelets.
3. Compete in a Gallon Challenge to be televised nationwide so that everyone I know can see me puke.
4. Eat an entire case of Play-Doh.
5. Attend a high school Physics class.
6. Hug a rabid cougar.
7. Go streaking in front of the "Club for Hot Guys Who Are Addicted to Working Out as Well as Classic British Literature."
8. Prank call Anna Wintour.
9. Listen to rap for a straight twenty-four hours.
10. Wear Crocs for one minute (it hurt to type that).

What would you do for a bag this lovely?

Hooked on Hat

I honestly think the only explanation for these models allowing these hats on their heads is that they were seriously drugged by the "good" people at Valentino. Like, date rape drugs. And I'm not saying date rape is a good thing, but I might prefer that to being seen in public looking like a bad Spaceballs parody* and a safari expert who shrunk in the wash.

*I realize Spaceballs is a bit of a stretch, but you can totally see why I'd go there, right?

Gareth Pugh, Eat Your Heart Out

benjamin cho fall 2008

I hope this becomes the biggest trend of the season.

Seriously, American Apparel?

I guess I see the logic here. The model FINALLY gnawed through the ropes holding her captive in Dov's sex dungeon, but it was totally, like, January or something, so she couldn't just leave the house in a see-through leotard and leggings. So she grabbed a unisex sheer jersey scarf before heading out the door. Of course, in her panic she forgot that, when you're wearing a see-through leotard and leggings, you're still going to be cold and humiliated no matter what you wear around your neck.