No Way!

He has teeth!

photo from fashionista.com

A Few of My Favorite Things

I can have no problems with Peter Jenson's Fall 2008 collection. After all, it involves many elements of life that I thoroughly enjoy.

Horses that you can carry your makeup in.

Things that look like the quilt my great-grandmother crocheted during the hard times of the Depression.

"Cosby Show" memorabilia.

Scarves that look like snakes but are actually scarves.

And, last but not least, things that make up for their shapelessness by disguising themselves as disco balls.

How to Rock a Rainy Day

Every guy has had that one day when he's rolled out of bed and felt like being fabulous. Usually, these yearnings for fabulosity (please don't hurt me for using your word, Kimora) are brought on by purchasing a great new argyle suit. So he puts it on and tries to head out to Starbucks, only to discover that the heavens have opened up like nobody's business. He figures he needs a raincoat, but why would he want to cover up his suit, thus not blessing the world with a vision of diamond-patterned perfection? What is a fashionisto to do?

Thom Browne has the answer.

thom browne f/w 2008

He won't even get his exposed socks too wet.

How Not to be a Bankrupt Baghag

Valentino, $850

OR

Macy's, $38

What Would You Do for a Loeffler Randall Bag?

loeffler randall bag: $685 at eluxury.com

I was looking for a new installment of "How Not to be a Bankrupt Bag Hag," but then I saw this handbag and got so distracted that I don't even think I slept last night. I don't really remember if I did. If I slept, I'm sure I dreamt of waking up in this beauty's handles.

So what would I do for this bag? (NOTE: Other than saving the money for it, because we all know honest work is not the way to go.)

1. Become a cherubic British street urchin.
2. Start a lucrative business in stretchy, beaded friendship bracelets.
3. Compete in a Gallon Challenge to be televised nationwide so that everyone I know can see me puke.
4. Eat an entire case of Play-Doh.
5. Attend a high school Physics class.
6. Hug a rabid cougar.
7. Go streaking in front of the "Club for Hot Guys Who Are Addicted to Working Out as Well as Classic British Literature."
8. Prank call Anna Wintour.
9. Listen to rap for a straight twenty-four hours.
10. Wear Crocs for one minute (it hurt to type that).

What would you do for a bag this lovely?

Hooked on Hat

I honestly think the only explanation for these models allowing these hats on their heads is that they were seriously drugged by the "good" people at Valentino. Like, date rape drugs. And I'm not saying date rape is a good thing, but I might prefer that to being seen in public looking like a bad Spaceballs parody* and a safari expert who shrunk in the wash.

*I realize Spaceballs is a bit of a stretch, but you can totally see why I'd go there, right?

Gareth Pugh, Eat Your Heart Out

benjamin cho fall 2008

I hope this becomes the biggest trend of the season.

Seriously, American Apparel?

I guess I see the logic here. The model FINALLY gnawed through the ropes holding her captive in Dov's sex dungeon, but it was totally, like, January or something, so she couldn't just leave the house in a see-through leotard and leggings. So she grabbed a unisex sheer jersey scarf before heading out the door. Of course, in her panic she forgot that, when you're wearing a see-through leotard and leggings, you're still going to be cold and humiliated no matter what you wear around your neck.

The Perfect Birthday Gift

I guess a girl can't have everything on her 19th birthday. No, a gift this wonderful would mean it'd be all downhill from this point on. Only a naked man in a bowtie would top this. And God only knows where I'd find a non-Chippendale's variety of one of them.

Vincent the Visionary

Who knew that bumbling Vincent Libretti from Season 3 of Project Runway would come to inspire an entire couture collection?

vincent and (likely embarrassed) model

christian dior s/s 2008 haute couture

Coincidence? I think not.