BANG!

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. Literally. She was 4'11", which is way too short to reach her coffeemaker without a stool and two phonebooks. This little girl wanted to be a princess. More precisely, she wanted to be a fabulously fashionable, desperately dorky princess, like with a frog prince of her very own who would do her calculus homework and only shop at Brooks Brothers. Ah, yes, that would be the life. And all day she would sit at her computer and watch fashion shows and eat raw cookie dough without gaining a single pound. After a hard day of vegging, the tiny princess would go read a little bit of War and Peace to get ready for bed. Her nightgowns would be made of the finest silks (you know, like ones that John Galliano himself had touched!) and her bed would actually be made of Cool Whip and joy. In her dreams, every dashing young gentleman would be under a spell to believe her unmatchably ravishing and worthy of every granule of their attentions.

Then, on October 8th, 2007, a very good day indeed, the little girl decided that she needed to take control of her dreams. A dream is certainly not worth having if all one wishes to do is sit around and wait for it to transpire. See, not only did she want to be a princess, but more than anything she wished to be a fashion columnist and poet. Yes, that would be much better than going to medical school, even though she did have a macabre fascination with the dead. There is money in being a medical examiner, but there are fabulous perks to writing for Vogue. Being a clever girl, she decided that it was time to start a blog. After all, eighteen years is a long time for the whole wide world to go without experiencing such fabulosity and wit and unaffected charm as hers.

And God said unto bored net junkies everywhere "Let there be blog!" And it was good.