I'm an Alien, I'm an Alien, I'm an Alien...

I have no idea how many times I've watched the first not-even-half of the Dior spring 2008 ready-to-wear show. I can't complain; I'm totally adoring the menswear-inspired outfits, and, you know, Sting, who only makes me think of the tantric sex and oh-my-God-I-can't-believe-that-other-singer-in-Desert-Rose-is-a-dude. Mostly, though, I've watched it so many times because I've been attempting to see the whole thing for the second time, but the Dior site has decided to shove its proverbial head in the oven everytime I get anywhere near the middle. Being the stubborn person I am, I keep restarting the show.

So, since I'm waiting for it to load once again, I would like to show you the looks that I would sell my soul for.

This dress goes in the "Dresses That I Would've Worn to Prom if I Could Go Back in Time and the Prince of Brunei Were My Best Friend Who Buys Me Stuff." It's especially great when you see the back, which has a little criss-crossy (that's the technical fashion term) in the back.

This will be my wedding outfit. First I need a boyfriend. And Weight Watchers. And money.

If I owned this suit, I would never take it off. Even in the shower. I would just cover myself in Saran Wrap first. How would I get clean, you ask? I wouldn't, but it would be worth it.

'WORK IT, GIRL' HONORABLE MENTIONS

Tyra would be so proud. The dress isn't my favorite, but Alison Nix totally worked it. Girl.

Lily Donaldson also worked it in a slutty and adorable manner. More importantly, I shall wear this to job interviews. Modest, no?

Time for to learn about Burma. Ta-ta for now!