Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Theory of Relativity
My boyfriend constantly reminds me that everyone sees bodies differently. The girls I would call "chubby" he calls "normal." The girls whose slender legs I envy, he considers unattractively thin. Sometimes when we have these conversations, I become very frustrated: not frustrated that we don't see eye to eye, but frustrated that what I feel I, as a woman in America today, have been taught is unquestionably right, might actually be wrong.
This goes both ways, though. While my boyfriend used to see Whiteness as essential to attractiveness, I have always found Black men to be more attractive. He thinks a six-pack is absolutely necessary, and I find them gross. He thinks his thin physique makes him less of a man, while I see a man with the ideal build. Men are taught, just like women, that a certain way to look is the right way to look. So am I wrong?
No matter what you think is attractive, there is someone who will disagree with it entirely, even if you look like the "ideal" man or woman. There are people who don't find anything sexy about the models and movie stars you think are perfect. And if you look one? There are people who won't find you sexy either. There are people who will think you're downright disgusting. But you know what? There are also people who will think you're the most amazing creature they've ever set eyes on.
There are people who think the ampleness of your butt, the roundness of your tummy, the gap in your teeth, the hair on your arms, the jiggle in your thighs are gross. There are people who will see all those things and say "those things are exactly what I look for in a man/woman-- marry me!" Seriously!
And this applies to everyone.
What makes a body attractive is different for every individual. This is why no one has to be anything they're not. Even if you think you're too fat, too thin, too muscular, too short, too tall, too whatever, there is someone who thinks that those things you hate most are exactly what make you so beautiful, so hot, that they can barely contain themselves.