The Story of Every Halloween Ever OR Why You Need My Lack of Creativity in Your Life

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I am willing to admit something: I'm not huge on Halloween. I know, I know! I'm a terrible person. It's true, though. Ever since I stop ransacking the town for candy with nothing but my pillow case and a dream, Halloween hasn't been so appealing to me. There is one main reason for this: I can never think of a good costume.

I am not lying when I say that I have been a witch at least 8 times. Other than that, as far as pre-college goes, I think I've been a Dalmation (of the 101 variety), Pocahontas, a cheerleader (that was the miserable year I cried over my apparent chubbiness due to my mother putting me in a ridiculous amount of clothing underneath my costume), a cat, a hippie, a nerd (not much of a costume, am I right?), and a frazzled housewife. Considering I have been alive for 20 Halloweens, that's not a lot of variety.

My friends-- oh, my friends!-- they always had new and exciting costumes! They were good at costumes! One of my friends from childhood once wanted to be Sabrina the Teenage Witch (remember the '90s? Good times). Halloween night came and she didn't like her costume idea anymore. If this happened to me, extreme panic would have ensued. Not for her. She-- and I'm not making this up-- put on a weird hat and claimed that she was a snobby rich lady. Genius! I do not possess this mix of creativity and confidence when it comes to Halloween.

The Halloweens since I've been at college have been as uncreative as the ones of my wee years.

Freshman year: I didn't expect to get invited to a party, so I threw on a short dress, some make up, and character-like shoes and claimed I was a dancer. Of course, once you're at a dark party and everyone is clutching orange Solo cups, no one really cares that you're really not in a costume at all, but I was quite distraught. I vowed it would never happen again.

Sophomore year: Still unable to think of a creative-yet-cheap costume like everyone else in college ("yes, I'm a box of wine with a working tap!"), I scour the internet for weeks for the perfect packaged costume. Something cute yet slutty, because that's what Halloween is all about. Don't even try to give me that "scary" crap. You will be a slutty nun, or slutty cow, or a slutty cupcake, or a slutty ruler, and you will like it. I finally decided on a cute little Dorothy costume, and I was all excited, but then disaster struck. On Halloween day-- and this may be TMI, but we're mostly all women here-- I was struck by the most evil, heinous UTI that has ever been known to mankind. I spent the night alternatively chugging cranberry juice while sobbing and making trips to the bathroom in 45 second intervals.

This year: I got invited to a friend's house so we can party a bit there and then go to my school's annual Halloween drag ball/costume ball. Did I mention I just got invited two days ago? That means I wasn't expecting to do Halloween at all this year. No stress, no thinking about costumes, I thought. Nope. I was thrilled to be invited, but then the friend who invited me said those dreaded words: "so what are you dressing up as?" I knew I forgot something. So right now I am feverishly trying to decide between a couple of costumes I have lying around (including Dorothy-- the catch is that I forgot my red shoes, because I'm absolutely brilliant) and hoping I come to a satisfying decision come party time. Did I mention it's tonight? Yeah. Oh yeah.

I have accepted that I will never be the person who thinks to be a real-life Facebook or a Edgar Allen Poe or The Flying Spaghetti Monster. This doesn't mean I don't want to be that person, though. In college, your ability to come with a witty costume is very, very important and will make you very loved and popular and valuable to society. Mmhmm yes it will. But let's think of it this way: if every single person at the party is creative and unique, your Death Star costume isn't going to look so unusual and awesome (it will still take away the use of your hands). You need me in my store-bought, last-minute-decided, omg-next-day-shipping-because-I-forgot-it's-Halloween, sure-whatever-is-on-sale costume to make you look good.

You're welcome.


Do you have a go-to costume? What's the most creative costume you've ever worn for Halloween? What about the best costume you've seen someone else wearing?


P.S. Have a happy and safe Halloween, my dears!

Good Hair? Not So Good.

A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend, who is the Treasurer of Clark University's Black Student Union (BSU) asked me if I wanted to join him and the club to go see Good Hair. I don't know if many of you have heard about this documentary, but to make a long story short and not make the whole rest of the post pointless, it is a film by Chris Rock about hair in the Black community and what makes it "good" or "bad." So BSU arranged to reduce the cost of tickets and arranged for a total of 28 people to get on a bus and be driven 45 minutes to Rhode Island to see the film. Most of us-- including Luke-- found out about the length of the bus drive when we got on the bus. We vehemently hoped that "Good Hair" was going to be the most amazing movie in the history of movies.

Chris, oh Chris, oh Chris. You are not a documentary filmmaker. No one would normally be asking you to be. But, you see, Chris, when you endeavor to make a documentary, then people are asking you to be documentary filmmaker. Which-- can I remind you?-- you're not. Very not.

The film opened with Chris Rock saying that one day, his very young daughter came home from school asking "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?" His daughter (who was perhaps 4 at the time? I don't remember, so don't quote me on that) has "natural" hair. The rest of the film was set up to be an exploration of how Black people style their hair and what makes "good hair."

Rock takes us to the Bronner Brothers hair show in Atlanta, where the best hairdressers in the country sell their wares and show their skills on the stage. It is one of the largest hair events around, and Black men and women flock to the show to buy new products, see demonstrations, and watch hair shows.

Rock takes us to the Dudley Hair Care & Cosmetics, one of the only Black-owned hair care companies around nowadays. Their big product? Relaxers. Rock spends a good portion of the movie talking about relaxers and interviewing stars who use them/have used them (the panel he uses throughout the movie includes Nia Long, Raven Symone, Al Sharpton, T-Pain, Maya Angelou, and Melyssa Ford, to name only a few). Some everyday people he interviews refer to relaxer as "creamy crack"-- and perhaps it's just as dangerous; just ask the Coke cans a scientist dissolves in the main ingredient! After seeing that, you may feel a little shocked that mothers bring daughters as young as two or three to get the treatment done.

We're also informed about weaves. Hairdressers go on and on about how women pay thousands of dollars to buy weaves, which then require ongoing upkeep. Rock interviews down-trodden-looking men about their women's weaves, which they are often asked to "subsidize." Several Black men insist that weaves are just one of the things that makes dating White women easier, more enjoyable, and less costly. Rock asks the women on the panel what kind of weaves they have, and when many answer "human," he inquires as to what kind of human. Overwhelmingly the response is "Indian." Rock ventures off to India, where he learns that though much of the weave hair that we get in America comes from the hair shorn from women at tonsore ceremonies, there is also a black market for hair: women sometimes have their hair secretively cut off while they sleep or while they are at a movie theatre, all so someone can turn a profit.

And this, unfortunately, is where Rock's journey figuratively ends. He explores weaves and relaxers and not much else, other than in one scene I am still seething over.

Rock meets with several high school girls to ask them about what they think "good hair" is. All the girls but one (who has, in my opinion, a lovely afro) have hair that is relaxed, straightened, or has a weave in it. One girl looks at the girl with the afro and says that her afro is "cute" but she would never hire her if she walked into her business. Another girl seconds this opinion, stressing how unprofessional natural Black hair looks. The girl with the afro is silent. She looks upset. She is not given a platform to speak. I was absolutely astounded that Rock left this moment rest. It would have been an excellent segue into a discussion on "natural" hair styles, but he doesn't touch the topic. I was enraged.

So this is one of the many things that has me shaking my finger at Rock's documentary. I liked that, by the end, we aren't left with a strong feeling that "good hair" is either natural or treated, as Rock both celebrated and criticized weaves and relaxers. However, we can't really know because natural hair-- and by this I mostly mean variations on afros or dredlocks, or just generally leaving your hair kinky/how it sprouts from your head-- is never really addressed. There is one woman on the panel who has natural hair (she may be biracial, but I'm not sure), and the girl who gets singled out by her classmates. Neither get much airtime. Does this mean natural hair is "bad hair?" I would have appreciated a stance that any way you do your hair is "good" if more options had been presented.

This film left a terrible taste in my mouth. I consider how it began as Rock trying to reconcile his daughter's ill feelings about her own hair. Why not celebrate natural hair? Why not put out the message that there are many beauties attributed to natural and treated hair, and that both are "good?" Why is Rock not taking this opportunity to tell his daughter she's okay-- she's beautiful-- just the way she is? That she was born with "good hair?"

Can you be born with "good hair?"

This film has my brain running angrily in circles. It leaves so many questions on the table. I feel that this topic is so large and so serious for the Black community that it was just not suited to a two-hour film. Perhaps a mini-series would have been better: an episode on afros, an episode on relaxed hair, an episode of dredlocks, an episode on weaves, an episode on braids, etc. At least Rock would have been able to cover all the appropriate ground in that format. This doesn't mean I still don't wonder why, if he was pressed for screen time, he didn't cut down the other segments to include segments on natural hair. Or the history of Black hairstyles. Or the prejudices associated with different styles. Or how men navigate hair culture. Or anything.

Perhaps I'm so bitter because my definition (as well as Luke's) of "good hair" was left out. Luke has a pretty abundant afro. It is well-kept, and in my opinion, just as professional as anyone else's hair. I think it's gorgeous hair. I think a number of so-called-natural Black hairstyles are absolutely beautiful. Just like the hair of any other person of any other ethnicity, if it's kept healthy and clean, it looks good. It seems many people are under the impression that Black hair is just dirty and unkempt (side note: the internet is an upsetting place), which is absolutely not true, especially in the case of dredlocks. I don't know if these people have ever known a White person with dreds, but it's pretty reliably offensive to the nose. That was a bit of a tangent, but I felt a little lost when a conversation on "good hair" didn't at all include the hair styles I feel are beautiful. I felt a lot like the high school girl with the afro seemed to feel. I sat there, waiting, hoping, for someone to speak up in defense of natural hair, but it never happened.

Anyway, I have a lot to rant about with this movie, and I don't know if I'd honestly recommend you see the movie. It's a good conversation-starter (moreso if you already have an opinion, I think), but it's also seriously lacking when it comes to content. I don't know if I'd advocate handing money over to Chris Rock, who seems to have half-assed this project to the highest degree (and did I mention Bronner Brothers Show, which took up a large portion of the film, was also one of the sponsors? Hmm).

Unfortunately, I have class tonight when BSU is meeting to discuss Good Hair further. Most of the members I overheard talking about it shared my feeling that the film was extremely incomplete. Hopefully, though, it will get the members talking about their own definitions of "good hair."

Have you seen Good Hair? If so, what did you think of it? If not, reflect a bit on this post in the comments. What do you think "good hair" is?

You Asked for It: High School Survival Tips

I recently got an e-mail from a very lovely reader asking for a little bit of advice:

Hello, I was wondering if maybe you could help me out bit. I'm a freshman at my high school in a town populated by about 4000 people, tops. And well, I'm a bit lonely. No, I'm not depressed or anything just a bit worried.

I'm sorta' an introvert and don't really hang with anyone outside of school. This doesn't worry me but, yeah, this town's kinda small. Never had a boyfriend either, and I'm starting think I'll never shake what people in this town see me as. I'm afraid I'll grow up to be a lonely girl who'll never get a date, or find someone special. Or have someone find me beautiful. I know this is probably my angst talking, but I feel like the only one who feels like this. Think you can help a girl out?

Sincerely,
Rachel


Oh, boy. For one, let me just say that I know exactly what you're talking about. In fact, I think a lot of people who read this blog (and probably a lot of people you know) feel or have felt the way you do right now.

I was never very outgoing in high school. I had about 3 or 4 good friends, and that was it. I was a teacher's pet and a nerd. I started high school overweight, and even when I lost it, the boys still didn't ask me out like I expected they would. I just wasn't in the "in" crowd and it felt lonely and awkward and awful.

For a long time I was plagued by destructive thoughts about being the kind of person that no one would ever really love. Thoughts like that led to a couple bad boyfriends, most significantly one who "wasn't my type" (high school drop-out, into drugs, an alcoholic), but said he loved me, and that was enough. I was involved with him for about two years, most of that time without a real commitment, because I thought he was as good as I would get. I didn't have enough confidence in myself to say "no" to the emotional abuse he put me through, and I put up with a friends-with-benefits relationship in hopes someday, if I gave him everything he wanted, he would love me back. If I could go back in time, I don't know if I'd be more inclined to slap the heck out of myself for being so dumb, or hug myself because I now understand the emotional place I was in.

That's just a little bit of my story, because your e-mail really brought me back to how I felt in high school. I'm not saying you're doomed. Oh my goodness you're not!

For me, it wasn't really until I got into college that I felt I came into myself. I'm sure you've heard this before, but college really is an opportunity for a new beginning. If you don't want to be the person you feel your small town sees you as, you don't have to be. To tie up the story I was telling about my high school days, I met a hugely awesome guy in my Freshman year through my roommate, who I've been dating for almost two years now. And you know what's great about him? He's really "my type." He's cute and nerdy and thoughtful and he doesn't drink. He worships my body in a way I never thought a man ever would-- I never thought I'd be able to say that someone "worships" me in any way! I'm so happy, and I never imagined I could feel like this when I was back in high school.

High school can be such a bleak place, and I know a ton of people who absolutely don't count it among the best years of their lives. Many people love their hometowns and never want to leave, but being from somewhere so small can really put you in a position where you feel trapped by how people perceive you. I'm not going to ask you to love high school or whatever town your from. Both of those things will end-- high school for sure, and someday you can move away from your small town life if it really troubles you. What I will do, though, is give you a few tidbits of advice that will maybe help you start to break out of your shell (because college and/or moving away-- if that's where you're headed-- is a long ways away) and make some more connections. Also, more of my shpiel on boys. Oh, boys.


Join a Club or Team

I know you're shy, but clubs are a great place to meet people like you in high school. Join a group related to something you love or something you're interested in finding out more about. The good thing about a lot of clubs is that you can ease into interacting with other students. If you're more of an observer-- which it sounds like you are-- spend the first few meetings feeling people out. Who seems friendly? Who would you like to get to know better? Slowly begin to make more small talk and participate more in club activities. I'm very shy, so I know how hard this can be. Also, sports teams are a great place to meet friends as well. It really depends on your interests, so see what your school has to offer.

Make Something More of Acquaintances

You said you don't have people you hang out with outside of school, but perhaps there are people in school that you could get to know better. It may be a little less intimidating to talk make friends with someone you already know a bit about than to create a friendship out of nowhere-- plus, it sounds like your town is so small that you probably have a lot of acquaintances. Just be friendly and remember that people are often more open to being interacted with than you expect them to be. Deep breaths, too.

Dive into the Things You Love

If there's something wonderful in your life you can't live without-- art, writing, a sport, etc.-- make it your life. If you preoccupy yourself with something you're truly passionate about, time is going to go by so much faster and so much more productively. Put together scrapbooks. Take photographs of curious objects and learn how to edit them with Photoshop or Gimp. Write sonnets. Paint. Take tennis lessons. Whatever it is you love, strive to be amazing at it. I think you'll find yourself feeling happier, more fulfilled, and more prepared to take on the world (especially if your passion is part of your life plan). There's a whole big world out there that doesn't have any preconceived notions about you-- take it by storm with all your wonderful talents!

About Boys...

Now I know I'm no expert in relationships because, as I said, I've fallen into the traps before. I know there's probably little I can say that will make you feel like a boyfriend isn't the most important thing to have in high school but... it's not. You might not feel cool, and you might feel like you're unloved, but you know what? You're so young. I'm only 20, and I never thought I'd say that to someone, but you have so much time to find someone to love you. There are plenty of people who love you, I'm sure. So what if they aren't boys? I don't have to see you to know that you are a beautiful girl with plenty to offer, and maybe it's just not your time to find a boyfriend yet. Whatever you do, don't settle. If you love yourself, someone good will come to you, and if someone bad shows up instead, you'll have the strength to walk away. See, it's hard to give advice about guys, because a lot of it seems to be just waiting until you're at the right place at the right time. You can't rush it. I know exactly how you feel now, because I've been there. I used to tell myself somewhere in my very angsty Middle School days that "some people aren't meant to be loved, and I'm one of them." I believed it with every fiber of my being, too. But it wasn't true. Everyone deserves love, and there is someone out there for everyone.

The first thing I want you to do, Rachel? Remember that you're capable of being your own support system, your own best friend. Believe you're beautiful. Tell yourself every day. Believe you are worth being loved, and tell yourself that, too. I don't really know what to tell you about how to find a good boyfriend or how to get guys to like you 'cause, hell, I have no clue. It basically just feels like a mix of magic and fate to me. Wait, and it will come. In the mean time, keep in mind that you are one of a zillionty billion girls out there who feel like they're not pretty and that they won't find the right guy-- even the ones you might think are gorgeous and perfect and could never have those issues.

You're not alone. And you're perfect. And it's going to be okay.


So dear readers, do you have any advice for Rachel? Did you go through the same feelings in high school? If you did, how and when did you get over them? If you didn't, goodness I'm jealous! How'd you do it?

Results May Vary

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*Nubby Twilglet does a tribute to Michael Jackson, and so does Geoff Barrenger.

*Stuff My Girlfriend Says is pretty funny (keep in mind, you'll either love or hate this girl. I doubt there's an in-between). She's right about one thing for sure: a salad is terribly disappointing meal choice.

*How to be a Hipster.

*A hilarious list of random thoughts from hip young people. Apparently many of these tid bits come from Ruminations.

tao okamoto

*Ever wonder how to pronounce Sasha Pivovarova? Forvo is a website where native speakers volunteer to pronounce words to help out the pronunciation-challenged.

*Mega-jealous of Luxirare's bento box.

*WARNING: the links go to pictures of a body being dismembered and eaten by vultures. I found these photos of a Tibetan Sky burial fascinating and beautiful. I I'd rather have my body be used like this when I die than have it stuffed in a box and buried.

*I was up really late one night and found this completely hilarious. I'm not really sure why.

*A hospital forces a lesbian woman to die alone, even though her children and partner wanted to see her. There are a lot of reasons to want marriage equality, and this story is one of them.

my new narwhal play set-- $14.99 at modcloth

*What I wore today in drawings only. Awesome.

*"Breakable" by Ingrid Michaelson is one of my favorite songs. I totally forgot about it until just now.

*Lesley at Fatshionista wrote an amazing article about wedding dresses. More specifically, the "Trash the Dress" trend, donating wedding dresses to women in Uganda, and the ignorance of our post-colonial societies. I can't really explain it in full any better than she did, so give it a read. It's long but very, very interesting.

*Dior Spring 2010: Part 1, Part 2.

old barbie and ken book found at my college library's book sale. no idea why they had this in the first place.

*You know? I want to be a whale, too.

*All the Youtubing you ever need to do: 100 Greatest Hits.

*I'm a blogger, and I'm a PC.

*Leave your change in the vending machine for someone else to find.

hedi slimane

These are some of the things I'm lovin' this week, but results may vary. Tell me what you think in the comments!

Remorse-Be-Gone

from "confessions of a shopaholic"

I'm an impulse-buyer. Yes, I buy a lot of things I can absolutely justify that I need, but "need" is a funny term. Do I need a sweater dress? I have a few winter-ish dresses, as well as sweaters and cardigans. Do I need new tights? I own jeans-- I could always wear those when the weather gets cold. A new skirt? I could live without it. Narwhal action figure? I mean, narwhals are underwater unicorns, but $20 when we consider shipping is a little much (side note: yes, I bought this). I'm good for all these things-- the money is there, sitting all bored and lonely in my checking account. I don't use a credit card, so debt is definitely not a concern. Every penny I spend, I worked for and placed in my bank. I'm in college (which my folks and tons of scholarships/financial aid is paying for) and don't have any real expenses. Why not go crazy on narwhals and polka dot tights?

I'm an impulse-buyer, but I also love money. I love seeing my balance grow. I love knowing there's a decent little chunk of cash there for me if I need it. I hate seeing it go. But I love buying things. Buying new things always brings mixed emotions.

For this winter, I'm trying to seriously cut back on my just-'cause-I-want-to buying. I made a small list on a Post-It of a few things I can justify that I really want and feel are "needed" for my wardrobe. My sense of style has changed drastically since even a couple of years ago, and I don't feel that my wardrobe is really where I want it to be. I am in the slow process of over-hauling it. I am hoping to buy pieces that I will be wearing for a long time to come.

My list?

-A new winter skirt in a neutral color. This Old Navy one is pretty cute and versatile.
-A thick brown belt.
-A sweater dress. I saw this one on the Old Navy site, and I can't wait to try it on. It looks so cozy.
-New tights-- 3 or 4 pairs, one in a bright color. If you're also a tights-wearer, I'm sure you relate to the fact they you need replace at least a pair or two every fall/winter. I want some more standard black and brown, but also something fun like pink or purple.
-A black pencil skirt. It's about time I get one that fits properly. Either this, or take the one I have from something like 8th grade to be tailored.
-A dress for the annual formal/semi-formal, depending on the theme. Preferably, though, I will either use a dress I already have or buy one I will wear again/be able to dress down with tights and a cardigan.

That's it. I'm going to try to stick to buying these items and only these items all winter.

Exceptions? Christmas shopping and the $50 Target gift card I won at Bingo (no, I'm not an 80-year-old, why do you ask?). Of course, it would be nice if I could use that free money for my shopping list, but I'm going to let my free money be for whatever catches my fancy. The occasional Starbucks and snack shopping will be acceptable. I will be going into Boston with the boyfriend for our second anniversary. That's fine. Hopefully we will be able to split most of the costs. And of course, needs like shaving cream are also fine to buy.

Other guidelines? No buying online. If you really think about how much extra money you spend per year on shipping, it's absolutely terrifying. I've been known to buy a single pair of earrings at Forever 21 online and end up spending twice what I would have in the store. But I couldn't find them in the store! It doesn't really make it much better. I suppose I can make exceptions to this if I come across a free shipping offer. Also, side note, no coats. Oh boy do I love coats, but I have enough.

Also, use cash. I think this is a piece of advice everyone can use to save a little money. When you aren't just swiping a card full of imaginary dollars and cents, it's a little harder to part with your green. Oh, so I have to hand you two of my twenty dollar bills? Eesh, no thanks! I always spend much more conservatively when I use cash, and I need to get back into the habit of saying "no" to plastic.

I'm hoping that by creating a specific shopping list with a few general guidelines, I'll save some cash and think more carefully about the clothing I buy. If I'm only allowed to buy one new skirt, I'm really going to want to adore that skirt, because there may very well be a much prettier, better-fitting one out there. I'm hoping this will be something postive and enjoyable, and that maybe I'll do something like this for every season.

Are you an impulse-buyer (and what are your major weaknesses)? Or do you have a mental shopping list? What are you dying to add to your wardrobe this winter?

You Wouldn't Believe How He Dressed When I Got Him*

[I am playing Pokemon at my desk. I hear The Boyfriend sit up in the bed behind me.]

Me: Couldn't sleep?

Luke: No...

Me: Awww.

Luke: I couldn't stop thinking about blazers.

Me: [laughing] Seriously? Blazers?

Luke: I kept thinking about showing up to your house on Christmas, arms full of gifts, wearing a grey blazer! "Merry Christmas, everyone!" ...It was exciting.


I never really question why we've been together almost two years.



*and by that i mean he owned and actually wore a douchebag vest.

John Galliano Spring 2010

Galliano has this incredible talent for creating looks that you can't simply look at once and happily go on to the next. The details are so small, complex, and apparent that taking in his creations simply as wholes would be missing the point. This collection was filled with those exquisitely constructed details and layers. Oh, the layers! I am left thinking the only way to fully appreciate this collection would be to pull it apart just to reconstruct it.

All photos courtesy of Style.com

The Dress Code and Human Rights

Jonathan Escobar, a 16-year-old boy from Georgia, is not ashamed of his sexuality. He wears women's clothing and wigs to school-- but his school does not approve. According to North Cobb High School, he is violating the dress code, which requires that students to not dress in a disruptive manner. School officials told Jonathan that he had to start dressing more like a man or "consider home-schooling."

Personally, I'm not quite sure what my final verdict is on this case. I believe that Jonathan should be allowed to dress however he feels most comfortable. It's wonderful that he is so comfortable with his sexual identity at such a young age, and I feel like telling him that he has to dress like a man would be like telling a man he has to dress like a woman. The only difference? Cultural norms. It's not "normal" for Jonathan to dress as a woman, but I'm not sure normal should be the only standard we go by. After all, it used to be (far more) abnormal to date someone outside your race or love someone of the same sex. In some cultures, hearing voices is considered normal, sacred. Normal isn't a great indicator of right or wrong, good or bad.

However, I partially agree with one commenter on the story that said "I don't go to a job interview wearing nothing but sandals and a swim suit and say 'oh i just want to express my love for the beach....'" I agree with this in some sense because there are established rules of dress that people largely accept are appropriate or else. I might sound like I'm contradicting what I just said about normal not always being right, but in some sense everyone in society must conform to some degree to the rules of that society or be left behind. I realize that I couldn't go to a job interview with tons of cleavage hanging out and a micro-mini skirt on (unless I were interviewing at Hooters) and expect to get taken seriously and get hired. I believe that's an acceptable standard.

The propriety of appearance is a tricky subject, though. For example, I can choose not to wear a micro-mini to my interview at a law firm, and though one could say a Black man could choose not to style his hair in dredlocks if he wants to interview at a law firm, I think there's a very different standard being put forth. Yes, Black men choose the style of their hair like anyone else, but the statement that's being made is "you look different because you are Black and we do not like different." I don't believe that anyone should say that an afro is an office "don't"-- asking someone to change their natural hair to suit the White corporate ideal or not get hired would be like if a Black employer asked a White employee to get an afro or get out (oh, imagine the outrage!).

This is my roundabout way of saying that I feel like Jonathan is being treated unfairly, even though I understand where it's coming from. Being gay or transgender or transsexual or whatever the case may be is not widely accepted in this country. As a society we don't seem to be ready to accept gay people, just like it doesn't seem to be ready to accept Black people, Hispanic people, Asian people, any ethnicity people, fat people, disabled people, and the list goes on. He is not being targeted because he dresses funny, but because how he dresses represents something some people find disgusting. He is being discriminated against and treated like a non-human. Somehow, though, this is the status quo in America.

The status quo doesn't make it right. It doesn't mean anyone should have the authority to tell Jonathan Escobar he can't dress the way he feels most comfortable. He's not putting on women's clothing to cause a scene: he does it because that's what feels correct to him, what expresses who he is as an individual. There is something vastly different between a dress code that says you can't dress too scantily and that you can't wear clothing that easily conceals weapons and one that is used to tell a young boy the way he identifies his gender is incorrect and distracting.

It's distracting because we're not used to it. It's distracting because we love to shelter our children from different lifestyles, because something about different scares us.

And you know what? Kids are always going to be distracted in school, if you want me to take this conversation there. Education is in terrible condition. The teachers are underpaid and often uninspiring, teaching to tests that scare kids shitless because they want to place a ceiling on their potential based on Scantron answers. Many kids don't feel safe from bullying and other kinds of violence. Dress codes-- if you want to go there, too-- are "strict" but so uninforced that the boy in baggy pants is sent home because he might have a gun but the girl wearing next to nothing is eye-candy for the teachers and students, so she's never called to the principal's office. I've been to high school, North Cobb County school officials. You aren't fooling me into thinking school will be that much more enriching for your students if you kick Jonathan Escobar out because you're homophobic.

Want to know more about Jonathan? Want to get involved?
A more in-depth article
Join the support group on Facebook
Write to school officials (I wrote a brief letter to the principal-- you should, too)


What do you think? Do you side with Jonathan or the school? Please be honest, because I feel that issues like this one are very important to discuss.

41 34 42

w h i t e r a b b i t

I took out a measuring tape. And I measured myself.

41 bust, 34 waist, 42 hips.

At first I was excited-- an hourglass! And then what did I do?

Off to the internet! I checked all the size charts I could find at every clothing company I could think of. Old Navy says I'm an Extra Large (though everything I own from them is Medium). I'm technically off the charts at Banana Republic. New York and Company? Extra Large. Forever 21 thinks I'm a 1X. Though, really, I'm somewhere in between because my numbers don't correspond quite right with anyone's size chart.

Right now I am wearing a Medium camisole from Old Navy, a Large Forever 21 dress (and they run super small), and an Old Navy cardigan that's a Medim. The dress I wore yesterday, which was also from Old Navy, was a Medium.

I measured myself, and I felt horrified by what the size charts said, even though, strangely, the clothes I'm wearing right this very moment tell a different story.

"No way I'm a 1X!" I cried. I picked up the tape measure again, just to make sure.

But why do I care? Why did I feel like I looked pretty hot today, but as soon as I found out what my measurements arbitrarily mean, I felt like a lump of lard in a pink dress that should go hide itself under the covers and stop eating until it's not so flabby, dammit!

And what does this leave me? Flustered and incredibly sad, remembering when my size was smaller and "oh I used to look so good!" It leaves me with questions that make me furious.

Why do any of us care what the numbers on our clothing say? They don't mean anything. They're symbols that someone we don't even know decided will stand for a certain amount of fabric-- but who was that person to say what's big or little? Why is it that girls cry in the dressing room when they discover they have to wear the size 8 dress because the size 6 is too snug? What awful, awful person or entity decided they had the right to attach a person's value as a human being, their beauty, to the number on their clothing?

And why do we listen?

Monday Music: What the Hell is With That Duck?

I started this post with the intention of just being all "hey, it's Monday, and here's a song that always makes me feel cheerful and maybe it will cheer you up, too!" I didn't realize how disastrous searching for a music video of said song ("Blow Away" by George Harrison) would be.



This music video is from the '70s. I feel like there's some excuse for it built in there, but I'm probably lying, because there are probably videos from the '70s that don't have giant ducks and bobble Bulldogs and awkward staring at the camera-- seriously, don't pause at 46 seconds if you don't want nightmares.

Have you ever liked a song better before you saw the music video?

Christian Dior Spring 2010: Love is an Understatement

Reasons to love Juan Carlos Antonio Galliano?

First of all, this seasons collection was a glorious tribute to Lauren Bacall, one of the most drop-dead gorgeous women to grace the big screen (and Twilight hater-- point for you, Ms. Bacall).

Second of all, the man set the precedent for the lingerie-inspired looks of this season's ready-to-wear with last season's flawless couture collection.

Third, fourth, fifth, sixth, ETC. of all...

galliano as humphrey bogart

Go to style.com for more.

i'll share the full show footage when it's inevitably available.

Questions?

Hello, lovelies! I've been a little absent lately due to a giant monsoon of school work, but I have been looking at blogs a bit and most definitely thinking of you. I will hopefully be blogging more often soon.

I did want to mention to you guys and gals, though, that if you have any questions you'd like to ask me or any topics you'd like to see me address you should really really really e-mail me. I love hearing from readers (and I've heard from quite a few of you-- it really brightens my day like you wouldn't believe), and I also really want to make sure that the content of this blog is going in a direction that all of us will enjoy. I have a few posts I'm working on right now (Hair products! Vests and tees! Etsian interviews!), but if you have any ideas, I welcome them.

Which leads me to the fact that I've set up a new e-mail just for this site. I've been surprised at how many e-mails I've been getting, and my school e-mail is a) only going to be around for another year and a half, and b) full of junkmail. It's ridiculous, and I'm always afraid that I might accidentally delete something from a reader.

chickensoupforthedorkysoul@gmail.com

Yep, that's the new one. E-mail me. Seriously, I love it.

I'm hoping regular posting will resume soon, but until then, here is a video of 172 UQAM students lip-synching to "I've Got a Feeling (Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night)" by the Black Eyed Peas to start your Friday off right.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.