My schedule got totally out of hand today in a way I didn't expect, so I hope you'll accept these adorable puppies in lieu of a regular post. I mean, this is probably better-- and definitely cuter-- than anything I had to say anyway.
I'll be back tomorrow with Love 365-- feel free to send me your e-mails if you still want to get in for tomorrow's post!
*Nintendo fans rejoice! Play Super Mario as other Nintendo characters (including their special abilities): includes Mario (of course), Link, Mega Man, Samus, Simon, and Bill R. Ugh, this is too great. Now if only I didn't suck at Mario games....
*I actually thought this little article in defense of Ke$ha was really interesting. We love to complain about how much music sucks these days, but are we actually demanding "junk food music" anyway?
*I saw George Watsky perform his poem "Go Robo" live, but this performance is even better. This is a must-watch.
*Lesley from Fatshionista shared an amazing article over at Newsweek about childhood obesity and her apprehensions surrounding Michelle Obama's campaign against it. Don't read the comments if you don't want to feel homicidal.
*"Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages." If you're a journalist-- nay, a human with a sense of humor-- and you don't know Dave Barry, you're missing out big time.
I write a lot here about body image, but one aspect of it I could never bring you-- for obvious reasons-- is the male perspective. Lucky for us, my boyfriend, Luke, decided to be so kind as to write a post on just that. I hope this won't be the last time he shares with us.
******
When Vanessa first invited me to write an article for her blog, I told her to stop bugging me while I was trying to watch porn. Then she showed them to me. No, they weren't boobies. They were even better. They were wonderful. Inviting. Warm. Golden. There had to be at least eighteen of them. Given closer inspection, I felt that they were robust and crispy on the perimeter, but oh so soft and tender in the center. Ladies and gentlemen, I am speaking of freshly baked Betty CrockerTM peanut butter cookies. Given this incentive, I just HAD to oblige Vanessa's wish.
Okay, so Vanessa actually went home for the weekend to visit her friend and baked me some cookies because she knows my holy trinity consists of the peanut, the butter, and the George Washington Carver. It makes a nice story, though, right?
Anyways, without further ado...
Dear Fitness Advertising Campaigns Targeted Towards Men:
I'm a young, American male. I'm twenty years old. I'm a full time college student. I'm in a relationship. I have a shitty part-time job at a department store. My name is Lucas. No, you do not have permission to call me that. Not anymore. To you, I'm Mr. Educated Consumer, J.D. (...expected 2014).
I remember you. How could I not? You're everywhere. You're in the books that I read, on the television programs that I watch, in the video games that I play, and on the food that I eat. Why do you still incessantly follow me around? I don't have the time for you anymore -- I have things to do. But for some reason, you insert yourself into the said things that I have to do.
I must say, it stopped being cute a long time ago. I remember those times, though. They were... well, you know.
I was obsessed with you! I'd learn about you, study you, trust you. You made such beautiful promises to me. You comforted me. I remember spending my early mornings absorbing your wisdom. Remember when you told me that I could be big and strong? That meant the world to me. I could have the body of my dreams: big, hard, muscular, and attractive. And I believed you.
We were going steady at first. I'd exercise every day. I wouldn't do it right or anything, but that didn't matter, because I was just following your advice. I thought it was brilliant. Easy too. I suppose that should've been my first indicator that this relationship was going to crash and burn.
It's probably my fault that we began to drift apart. I guess you could call it infidelity. You gave me the motivation that I needed, albeit for the wrong reasons, to conduct research of my own. It must've made you jealous, because that's when you started to stalk me. Everywhere I'd go, you'd be there. In magazines, on my favorite web sites, on the television. Everywhere, you'd tell me that I could get ripped in days and that it would be so easy. All I'd have to do is buy your products.
Oh. Buy your products, you say? You know, I didn't mind it so much before when you just told me to set an unrealistic goal and participate in a nonsensical “workout routine,” but then you wanted me to buy a product? For how much? Probably for $19.99, plus shipping and handling.
This was a problem, but the straw that broke the camel's back was definitely when you started telling me to take drugs. You don't remember? Those “nutrition supplements” that you told me about? The ones that'd totally help me shed fat and reveal my already amazing muscles that you helped me to build with your less-than-perfect workout routine? The ones that aren't FDA regulated? Yeah, those ones. I think that's when I began to see what you were doing.
Your goal was never to help me be what I wanted to be. You didn't even know what I wanted to be. You had your own agenda. And you'd studied me, it seems. You knew what made me tick and you knew my weaknesses. You knew that I had little self confidence. You knew that I was physically small and that that made me feel inadequate. You knew that I was ignorant. So you used these traits to your advantage. You picked me up when I was down and proceeded to lie to me. But that's not even the worst part.
The worst part is that you'd never even told me how many other men you'd been with before. Hundreds? Thousands? Millions?! I don't even know! And you had done the same thing to all of them! You preyed on their vulnerability! You fed their insecurity! Then you just stole from them! It was all about the money. All you ever cared about was my money. You're a filthy gold digger.
I bet you didn't expect me to be smart, though, did you? No. I found out about you long before you could scam me. You may have enticed me, but you never won me over, did you? I didn't fall for your trap. And you know what? I don't need you anymore. No, I learned to love myself. I don't need to be insecure just because you tell me that I am, because you're a liar. You don't want to help me, just bring me down and steal from me. I bettered myself. I learned to pursue self improvement in a constructive way that doesn't aim to damage my self esteem. That's more than can be said for you.
So, having said all this, I just have to say... FUCK YOU.
Don't come back,
Mr. Educated Consumer, J.D. (...expected 2014)
What do you think of how men are affected by the media? Do you have any questions for Luke?
For the past few months, I've been trying to blog five days per week, reliably, Monday through Friday. So far, I haven't had to miss too many days, and I'm really proud of that. There are a lot of benefits to deciding on a schedule for your blog and being faithful to it.
Readers Can Rely On You
...And that means, for those of you who care, more traffic-- and I think we all care at least a little. One of the main reasons I try to stay consistent with posting Monday through Friday is that the people who read this blog will know when it's updated, plain and simple, and be more motivated to see what's up over here. If your readers know there will be a post, they're more likely to actually check your blog (for instance, my visit numbers dip on the weekends and spike again on Monday-- people know there won't be anything here certain days). There are a lot of blogs I visit less frequently because they don't update consistently on a regular schedule-- I'm pretty busy sometimes, so if I only have time to read and comment, say, one blog, I'm going to pick one that I know I can depend on to have new content. This is especially important for those who want to eventually make money off of their blog. You want your blog to be reliable.
Real-World Practice
I like to think of it like this: in the real world-- especially if you want to be a newspaper journalist, professional blogger, or almost any other job imaginable-- you can't just decide not to provide your product. The newspaper can't skip a day because you couldn't think of anything to write, and newspapers usually have files full of "fluff" pieces just in case. I'd rather post an interesting video or a few brief thoughts than not put up anything at all, because I know someday I won't be at liberty to do that. Also, if you're interested in writing full-time, freelancing or as a staff writer, you have to get used to making deadlines. I've received this advice time and time again from journalism professors (two who were long-time newspaper columnists and one of whom is a freelance magazine writer): making deadlines is one of the most important aspects of writing professionally, and if you show you can make deadlines every time, you will get hired again and again.
Hone Your Writing
Writing often is the key to writing well. I've found that since I've started this blog, I've had an easier time organizing my thoughts into an article that flows well, probably because I do it at least a couple of times a week here (and there are often posts I'm working on that just haven't been put up yet). You also may find yourself coming up with ideas for other ventures-- like an article you could tweak and publish in the school paper or send out to a magazine. And, of course, better writing is more enjoyable writing.
Routine
Personally, I think routines make life easier. If you know something has to happen every day, you make time for it. It's no longer that extra thing you have to squeeze in, but an essential that you need to account for. I've found committing to a schedule really works for me and helps me get things done; like your typical journalist, I can't get anything done without a fast-approaching deadline.
But of Course....
Unless you're making dough off your blogging gig, I wouldn't put excessive pressure on yourself. While I think it's very important to think of the benefits of being strict with a schedule, I will be the first to admit there are more important things in life that come up. If writing a new post will put a serious strain on your school work or mean you miss something awesome, by all means take a day off.
Have you put your blog on a schedule? What do you think the benefits are?
P.S. I'm very sorry I haven't been doing a lot of blog commenting lately-- I've been really busy (finals-type stuff), but hopefully I'll be much more attentive in a couple of weeks! I'm planning on revamping my blogroll when things slow down (which is why it's much smaller now) to include new blogs I'm reading and all of yours. I try to read the blog of every person that comments here, so it'll be much easier for me to keep up if I give you a nice little link on the sidebar. And also, give me a special shout-out if I'm on your blogroll-- I want to make sure I link to you, too!
I saw what you said about this advertisement, which ABC apparently refused to air because it's too racy.
I mean, for instance, just to select a few wise words:
"she'd be hot. if she dropped about 50 lbs! what a waste of a natural beauty. oiiiiiink! moped chick in this pic" (NOTE: a "moped chick" is a girl who "is a lot of fun, but you don't want to be seen in public with her" according to Urban Dictionary)
"...this chick would not fit into any medical categorization of having a 'healthy' weight. None. She's overweight, fat, plump, tubby, whatever. It's not something to aspire to. Stop fooling yourself and your kids into thinking when you're fat there's just more of you to love. That's not true. There's just more for the pallbearers to have to schlep up the stairs..."
"...Honestly, I am tired of all this "big beautiful women", "plus size" mumbo jumbo. They are over eating, and it is a problem..."
"Just what we need, more mainstream justification that it is ok to be fat. It is unhealthy, creates enormous health care system strain and is just plain vile to look at. For every one of these models that resemble an attractive female, there are 100,000,000 disgusting pigs running around that think it is now ok to be enormous. I applaud ABC if for no other reason than we should not glorify overeating. There is no such thing as an attractive fattie. Fat=ugly."
I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you for graciously sharing your wisdom. Because that's what fat chicks need, right? They need to be told they're fat and disgusting and unhealthy abominations and that they don't deserve to feel good about themselves.
I mean, you can tell it's helped. Since we starting shaming fat people, there have been far fewer in our society. Shaming just makes 'em stop eating and get "healthy!"
Oh, wait, there are more fat people than ever? But discrimination and hatred is a totally legitimate strategy to make people care about their health and their appearance!
The war on obesity is just as ineffective as the war on drugs, if you ask me.
I can tell you all one thing: if there weren't people like you, I wouldn't have felt the need to hide food when I was in middle school. I wouldn't have felt embarrassed to work out, like I still sometimes do. I wouldn't have felt the need to date just anyone who would take me because I didn't feel pretty if no one was telling me. I wouldn't struggle every day to accept my body.
There are things every single one of us can do to make our bodies healthier. There are plenty of skinny people who eat junk and don't work out, and plenty of chubby chicks who eat healthy and workout. There are skinny people who are healthy and fat people who are unhealthy. I truly believe that health is, for the most part, independent of weight-- and that (according that link) moderately overweight people may even be healthier than "normal" people as far as the dropping dead thing goes. There are plenty of factors that make a person unhealthy that don't necessarily have anything to do with weight, but their activity level, genetics, the food they eat, etc. It's not all about weight, so can we please stop accusing every woman over 115 pounds of being at death's door? I simply don't believe it.
I will admit, by the way, that most statistics state that those that are "morbidly obese" are indeed unhealthy, but I think we should also consider why people are getting so fat, why they make the food choices they do, and what comes into play emotionally aka the effect of constant shaming and bullying. If I wanted to lecture on this, I could write a zillion page book about it. But I do think, without a doubt, discrimination and hatred play a huge role in why some people become overweight.
A world full of hate doesn't support people getting better. I don't believe you, commenters, actually want fat people to get thin, because how would you judge your own bodies then? If everyone, like that Obviously Huge Dead-Soon Whale in the commercial, had the same height-to-weight ratio, well, my goodness! Then you'd have to worry about how much prettier a certain person is! Or-- shock!-- the quality of their character being better than yours! You wouldn't have that ace up your sleeves that is WELL SHE IS FAT AND I AM NOT SHE IS UGLY AND I AM THIN SO I AM PRETTY NAH NAH NAH-NAH NAH!
I think a lot of today's men and women would have an easier time being healthy if aesthetics weren't pushed on them so hard. If you were to tell a chubby kid who doesn't eat healthfully that she needs to eat better because she should grow up big and strong, you wouldn't be teaching her to hate herself. You would be teaching her to value her body and treat it well. That I can get on board with 100%.
If you take that same child and tell her she has to eat right or else she will be fat and ugly and unloved, you're handing her an idea that's incredibly damaging, that tells her she's not okay because others won't accept her. (For any of you who weren't fat children, this absolutely does happen. Parents mean the best with it, but it happens and it's wrong). It's not empowering, it's not healthy, it's not done out of any concern for her well-being. It perpetuates loathing and misogyny and makes me want to vomit and hug little chubby children who are perfectly happy until they're told they shouldn't be.
It's because of people like you. People who don't want to look at people who aren't "normal" because you're closed-minded intolerant douches.
Pet peeve: when people say something cliche because they don't know what else they can say.
Like when your friend breaks up with her boyfriend and you tell her that time heals all wounds. Or that there are other fish in the sea.
Or when a loved one dies and all you can think of is "she's in a better place now."
I remember when my best friend called me to tell me her father committed suicide. I remember sitting on the floor for an hour or two, sobbing hysterically while she tried to explain what had happened. I didn't give her advice. I didn't know any. I hardly spoke a word that entire time. There were no words that would have sufficed, no pre-packaged, trite saying that would give her any real comfort. My heart broke for her and I felt lost. It seems to me we're taught there should always be something to say, but there wasn't-- nothing that wouldn't have cheapened that moment.
Our lives are nothing like Hallmark cards.
Sometimes saying nothing at all means a whole lot more than grasping at straws; most of the time, just being there, being a friend, being a listener, is all another person really needs. We learn to feed each other those hollow feel-better-soon sort of lines in times of trouble. And we all know they're lines, stand-ins to help us through those moments when words fail. But words fail for a reason. Because sometimes there really is nothing you can say to make it okay.
The oh, sweet joy giveaway has come to a close! We had a total of 29 comments and 4 e-mails, giving us 33 lovely ladies vying for the prize. So what happened? Well....
The winner is: Sharon!
Congratulations, Sharon! I'll be putting you in contact with Kim right away. I hope you love your headband!
(And as for the rest of you, do check out Kim's shop and pick up something adorable).
I love that I can write a good article on ridiculous time constraints.
I love that my Feature Writing professor told me "your writing is brutal sometimes, and I love it." I think, as a journalist, I want to be a person who doesn't feel the need to pull punches or is afraid of being criticized for saying what I think. It makes me happy to know that a Real Professional Journalist acknowledges my potential to be that kind of writer.
I love that I'm the best pancake-maker I know.
I love that I'm excellent at keeping secrets.
I love that I'm learning who my real friends are.
I love that this list is now 106 items long. As someone who used to be very insecure-- and still is, in many ways-- I can think of over 100 things that are great about me. I'm so glad I decided to go through with this resolution, and I can't wait to see what this list looks like by the end of the year!
--Me
******
I love that I'm determined to go to law school.
I love that I wear cool shoes.
--Luke
******
I love when I surprise myself. Whether it's a project at work, or a new weight machine at the gym, sometimes I'll think "there's no WAY I can conquer that" and when I'm done, I look back and think "wow, I had it in me all along." It's an awesome feeling!
I love that people under-estimate how capable I am, and the suprise they have when they realise they were wrong :)
I love how well I get on with people
I love looking at old photos of myself and realising that I have become a beautiful, talented, confident woman because of all that has happened since those photos were taken.
--Charlotte
******
I love my green eyes.
I love how people trust me and tell me what's bothering them.
I love how I always work hard so I know I've done my best.
I love my red hair, and I love that I like getting compliments on it, it boosts my ego, but also lets me remember I am unique without my personality.
I love my awkwardness and the fact that I can survive with human interaction for a weekend and like it. :)
--Lauren
******
Love 365 wouldn't be the same without you! Please send your beautiful submissions to
chickensoupforthedorkysoul@gmail.com
P.S. If you send a submission before April 19th, it can also count as an entry to the oh, sweet joy giveaway. If you do, please note somewhere in your e-mail that you'd like to use it as an entry.
There's this old belief that a woman is "a lack"-- that is, essentially, that men are whole and women are a lesser version of that whole. Feminist theorist Judith Butler explains in her Subjects of Sex, "For [Simone de Beauvoir], women are the negative of men, the lack against which masculine identity differentiates itself."
The idea of woman as a lack was once commonly held.
And, honestly, I don't think that idea has changed much over time. There is no way that we can look at the standards women are required to live up to and not question why they are what they are. Why must women be thin-- and to greater degrees than ever before? There is research showing that being very thin is no healthier than being overweight, and that, in fact, being overweight may not be a good indicator of overall heath. Many doctors would argue it isn't weight or BMI (which is an awful indicator of health) alone that determine health. So why do we want to be thin? What will keep women wanting to be thin when we learn that our health is mostly independent of the number on the scale?
Because society says we are a lack, and to fit in, we must embody that.
Extreme thinness in runway models is often explained away by designers as being their way of better showcasing clothing. The girl should not be the distraction. The girl is the walking coat hanger on which the designer's art can be displayed. Yes, a model is a human and we're not "supposed" to criticize other people's bodies, but a model's body is objectified to a horrifying degree. Models are often encouraged to lose weight or are hired at extremely young ages so that their bodies are underdeveloped (no boobs or hips)-- at which point many will fall into the cycle of using eating disorders and substances to control their weight for the careers' sakes. I won't even go into how using pre-pubescent girls as a beauty standard for adult women is wrong-- or how being subjected to such rigid weight requirements at a young age is surely damaging both mentally and physically for the models themselves.
Runway models are supposed to fade into the clothing. We are not supposed to see them, just the clothes.
And you know? This is a sentiment we often hear mirrored in the accounts of young women with anorexia: they often report feelings of wanting to disappear, to take up less space, to become invisible.
For instance, Aimee Moore, a bulimic woman, is quoted as saying of her disorder:
"'I want to disappear,' she said. 'I want to be so small that nobody sees me because of everything I’ve done that has hurt people. I would like to be hidden. I’ve always felt like I was a failure. I can’t stick to anything. I can’t stay in treatment, can’t eat, can’t function normally.'"
Yes, this is a disorder, and Moore's brain, like every other ED-sufferer's, is telling her what to feel. But women are starting to develop disordered eating patterns and dangerous mindsets concerning weight at younger and younger ages. And this idea that there is, in many cases, a thought process about wanting to disappear is deeply disturbing to me.
No eating disorder is really about food. And our culture of forcing women to be thinner and thinner to be acceptable members of society, to me, is just another form of social control. It's the same as forcing women to cover their bodies, to suppress their sexuality, to be demure, to listen to what men say, to speak only when spoken to. Skinny is natural for some people, but skinny has become an engine of patriarchal power-- one that many women perpetuate by consenting to it.
When do we stop consenting? We are not lacks. We should not treat ourselves as such. We do not have to hide. I do not want anyone to feel like they want to hide their body, especially not because they feel like "failure" or that they "hurt" people otherwise. This standard of being skinny? I'm ashamed to sometimes want it, because it's just another way to brainwash women into believing that they should be something less, that small size means that they are doing their part to fit into society.
Not to mention, of course, extremely thin female bodies are often compared to male bodies. Perhaps, somewhere in the back of our minds, we shun the idea of breasts and hips and menstrual cycles for the power potential in becoming more male. Male, after all, is the whole: the ideal sex. Perhaps if women make their bodies closer to male bodies, they can get power, respect. I cannot tell you how many times I've been told my large breasts will make it hard to earn respect in their workplace, to be seen as more than a sexual object.
Fuck that. I am a woman. I am not a lack. I do not need to disappear. I will take up all the space I want.
And, yes, I believe thin women are women too-- and I certainly don't want to alienate any of my skinny readers. I just believe that our culture has a really messed up way of looking at weight, and if we don't start questioning it, women will keep disappearing until they are completely silenced.
*Most of you probably won't be as excited about this as I am but OMG THE GEARS OF WAR 3 TRAILER DROPPED AND I AM SO EXCITED! Aghhh can't believe I have to wait a year for this! This made my week.
*For the month of April, Robert Lee Brewer is providing a poetry prompt a day. I'm trying to follow along with this and it's awesome-- especially for people like me who sometimes like to be told what to write.
Nowdays, you're either a hipster or you want to be a hipster. Except if you want to be a hipster, you probably hate hipsters, too. That’s okay, since it’s very ironic: you’re already on your way to hipsterdom! But how do you go the whole way? Consider these ten simple, totally-not-mainstream steps you can take to become the Kafka-reading, PBR-drinking 20-something you’ve always dreamed of being.
Wear a Hipster Scarf
If there is one absolute hipster requirement, it is the hipster scarf, also known as a keffiyeh. Sure, it’s a symbol of Palestinian nationalism in the Middle East, but that just makes it a more fashionable version of a Che Guevara T-shirt, right? Tie it around your neck carefully but with nonchalance.
Only Appreciate Obscurity
If you want to be a hipster, you can’t listen to The Beatles, or Lady Gaga, or T-Pain—none of that is authentic. Why? Because it’s mainstream, and if there’s anything you don’t want to be, it’s mainstream. You’re special. You listen to bands no one’s heard of and watch black-and-white movies that are “so superior to those old Hitchcock films.” PRO-TIP: They are called films, you plebian.
Wear Clothing Ironically
I once went to a poetry reading where I overheard a guy in a shirt that read “Have a Coke and a smile” explaining that he wears it to make a statement about how stupid it is to believe that you can get joy from a corporate product. So what did this guy do? Buy a product from the Coca-Cola Corporation in order to fight The Man (actually, he probably thrifted it). Hipster win. This is an excellent example of clothing irony. Flannel shirts, grandpa sweaters, T-shirts with obscure ‘80s TV show references, and sports-related apparel are also highly ironic. The lumberjack look? Totally cool. Remember, clothing shows who you are by showing who you aren’t. Master this concept before continuing.
Become Fake Vegan
Hipsters stay so thin and pretentious by burning serious calories explaining their moral stance on factory farming, buying local, and eating textured vegetable protein instead of meat. You don’t actually have to believe in these things, since you’re just doing it to be trendy. Many hipsters claim to be vegetarian or vegan, but are actually flexitarian—“I only eat meat when it’s served to me at parties or if I really feel like sushi”— behind the scenes.
Work for American Apparel
Studies conducted at the University of Williamsburg New York show that 99% of all hipsters have worked for American Apparel, and 98% of that 99% have been photographed in a compromising position for their ads.
Grow a Moustache
I know this doesn’t apply to you lady-hipsters-to-be, but a moustache is absolutely essential. Have you ever seen a male hipster without a moustache? Didn’t think so.
Nerd/Old Lady Glasses
Glasses are to be thick-rimmed and as large as possible. If you aren’t visually impaired, don’t worry: you can buy fake glasses at Urban Outfitters—or you could just punch the lenses out of your grandma’s old specs.
Forget Crotch Support
Comfort is for conformists, right?
Get Inked and/or Pierced
You need a chest tattoo—and the larger it is, the better. If you want to be especially edgy, consider an unpopular animal, a quote from a book you didn’t really read, or something you hate (irony, remember?). You could even try a moustache tattoo; they generally go on your finger, but I can only imagine how non-conformist it would look on your chest. It’s also worth noting that there are few hipsters that can resist a good piercing: facial piercing, such as septum rings, will help you blend right in.
Three Words: Get a Mac
I know, I know, you’re not supposed to be into the mainstream, but Mac laptops are the exception to the rule. Hipsters love Macs because they are a youth culture’s absolute symbol of elitism. A Mac costs hundreds of dollars more than a PC and does less; Macs are essentially computers for beginners. Mac owners will claim that they like their computers because they never get viruses. That is a lie: they like them because they look so totally minimalist and only have to be able to access the Cobra Snake website anyway.
If I were to say I don't love Etsy, I would be lying not only to myself, but to all of you. It's so full of wonderful products-- and wonderful people, to boot! The wonderful Kim of oh, sweet joy contacted me recently about doing a giveaway just for all you lovely readers of mine, and I just had to accept. Her shop is packed with pretty headbands, dresses, owls (yes), and earrings-- and I just adore her cute reusable coffee cuffs! Plus, 10% of the sales from her shop go to Love 146, an organization fighting to end sex trafficking. That's a pretty good deal, if you ask me.
But before I get to giving you the goods, I know you want to meet our awesome sponsor, right?
****** Who are you?
Kim
Where are you from?
I'm a Texas native, residing in Colorado. We (the hubs and I) both grew up in north Texas and met at Texas A&M University (gig 'em ags). We needed a change of scenery upon graduation and we are very happy in the mountains!
How old are you?
I just turned twenty three at the end of march. Young, huh? :)
When did you start your Etsy shop and what inspired you to do it?
I started this shop in October of 2009. I had a shop before (hemmedinvintage.etsy.com) that will make a comeback soon, but I really needed a break from apparel. I wanted to just "craft" for a while and this (oh, sweet joy) is what came of it! A big inspiration was falling in love with designer fabrics. I wanted to do something where I could work with fun fabric and not just knits.
You have a whole bunch of plush owls in your shop. Is there a story behind these little guys?
Yes, actually! I nanny a couple of precious kiddos and when one of their birthdays was coming up, I wanted to make him something. I drew up an owl, bought some eco-felt, used some of my designer fabric scraps and went from there. Since then, I have used different colors of eco- felt and designer fabrics to make owls with different "personalities." I've sewn a lot in the past few years, but the owls have definitely been my favorite project/venture. They bring out my inner-kid who just wants to eat goldfish crackers and play all day.
You sell reusable coffee cuffs, which is a really great idea to help our environment. Is there anything else you do to "go green" at your shop and in your everyday life?
A lot of my projects involve fabric scraps. I try my best to use everything, down to the last scrap. This drives my husband crazy because he's a tidy fella and I am quite the hoarder. I also buy fabric scraps from other etsy sellers so that nothing goes to waste. Covered button earrings were a project solely for scraps.
Furthermore, my owls are all made from eco-friendly felt, which is made completely from recycled plastic bottles. In my everyday life, its just about simple steps for us. Recycling when we can, riding our bikes as transportation (when it isn't negative 20 degrees outside), turning lights off when not in use, using energy-efficient lightbulbs, using re-useable bags at the grocery store, and showering every other week to preserve water. I'm kidding about the showers, I promise.
Any advice for people hoping to set up an Etsy shop of their own?
It's all about patience and customer service. A sale isn't going to come right away. As long as you are being creative, loving what you do, and not copying other etsy seller's work, sales will come. Don't get caught up in the whole "relisting" your items at peak times and all the jazz. Work hard, make quality projects out of good materials, love what you do, and don't get caught up in all the things that etsy tells you to do. I think it's just a way for them to make more money.
I've been completely blown away by the support I've had. Great customer service will always bring another sale later on. Take care of your customers and make them feel important. Thank them every step of the transaction because they deserve it! After all, they are keeping you in business. I am so thankful that I can make things that I love and make money from it. God is good, that's for sure.
Want to tell us about your perfect day?
Hmm. Ready for this?
A good quiet time with my Jesus, a bowl of kid cereal (better believe it), a good cup of coffee (one splenda packet and some hazelnut creamer), working with Anna Maria Horner fabrics, TOMS shoes on my feet and a bike ride on my townie to the park with my kiddos that I nanny, sunny and 80 degrees, getting a nice tan line, an iced caramel macchiato, a lunch date with my husband at our favorite restaurant in town (Sugah's cafe), a good afternoon's worth of sewing, Priscilla Ahn or Fleet Foxes playing in the background, new fabric coming in the mail, fresh flowers on the kitchen table, a good phone date with a friend from Texas, cooking a meal for my hubby and not being rushed to eat it and him volunteering to do the dishes, an episode or two of Law & Order SVU, sleep. Perfection.
And I have to ask: chocolate or vanilla?
Both in a swirl from Jason's deli. Jackpot.
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What We're Giving Away: a single-rosette headband in the color of your choice (like this one).
How to Enter: Do one or all of the following three things (for up to three chances to win):
1) Comment on this blog post, including your e-mail address.
2) Tweet or blog about this giveaway and leave a comment telling me you did.
3) Send me an e-mail for Love 365 and mention you want an extra entry to the giveaway.
You don't have to leave an extra comment-- I'll assign your e-mail a number.
This giveaway will end at 11:59 P.M. EST on Sunday, April 18th. The winner will be drawn at random and announced on Monday, April 19th.
I love that people ask me for help with their writing. It makes me feel surprised and proud and awesome that people trust me like that.
I love that I'm not a quitter.
I love that I'm not one of those girls who always has to wear makeup. (My boyfriend will probably look at this post and say I'm lying but I'm not, I promise. He's just silly).
I love that I don't watch MTV.
I love my street smarts.
--Me
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I love that learning to deal with my disease has also helped me learn how to live a healthier life.
--Luke
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Okay, you guys. Next week, we hit day 100 in this year-long journey in self-love and appreciation. I'd really love it if every single one of you would send me something to make it extra special. I'm so grateful that so many of you have been willing to share these little pieces of yourself with me and everyone else who reads this blog. Thank you so much!
So tell me what you love about your body, your mind, your spirit, anything in any form you choose and send it to:
There are certain things I try not to do. I try not to lie. I try not to say dirty words when I see a child nearby. I try not to get annoyed with my boyfriend when he hogs the bed.
I try not to look around any given room and assess where I lie on the Thin/Fat Spectrum.
I do all of these things on occasion, not even meaning to. The other day, I looked around one of my classes and thought, for the first time in a conscious sense, about the weight of every girl there. There was the grad student with short, red hair that must weigh 100 pounds and always wears tights with mary janes. There was the girl with curly black hair that sits up straight as if her back is tied to a board. She looks like she must be a dancer. There was the girl that wears funky glasses and eats soy beans out of a plastic bag and drinks water from a small glass jar. There are others.
And I found that of all 15 of us, I was the fattest girl in the room. I pulled on my skirt and my top uncomfortably for the rest of the three-hour-long class, eyes shifting back and forth among these lithe young women. I did not compare to them. I wondered if they ever look at me and think "that is the fattest girl here." I tugged at my clothes a little more.
Today in class, we talked about the culture of competition between women, and how women are constantly reinforcing the norms that we're so often trying to break down. Comparing bodies is just one of those things that functions as a way to keep us breaking each other-- and ourselves-- down.
And honestly, I don't want to be a part of that. It's not good for me and it's not good for you.
Of course, I doubt people will ever really stop assessing each others' bodies, but how about this? Don't bring comparison into it. Think about how nice someone's eyes are, or legs are, or clothes are, or figure is, sure. But you don't have to think of it in terms of your own-- and if you just have to, make it something positive.
Example: "She has such a wonderful figure. It's a lot different than mine, but mine's great, too."
Does feel a little phony to say that sometimes? Yup, sure it does. But like anything, if you reinforce it enough times, it'll feel natural. Not to mention the fact that I know it's true. You are special and great and awesome and beautiful just like any other woman, regardless of how you think you compare. You don't need to compare.
Because comparing? It just breeds all these negative feelings about ourselves and others and do any of us need such negative energy in our worlds?
Sometimes, when I go to write a post for this blog, I feel myself totally coming up empty or feeling like I'm just writing about the same old thing again. I wouldn't say I get bored with writing, but it's frustrating when you don't feel like you've come with an amazing, novel idea every single day.
So what do I do when I'm not sure what to write about? Well, I go seek out some inspiration. Here are a few great places right on your very own Interwebz for getting out of that creative rut.
(Other than news websites-- because you read those already, right?)
Flickr and WeHeartIt
Searching Flickr or WeHeartIt reliably turns up some awesome results. I get a lot of inspiration for beautiful images and by seeing what people think images should be tagged as. Perhaps you'll find that WeHeartIt is extremely lacking in pictures of full figured or Black women (true) and want to rant about it. Or you'll see a picture of something that jogs your memory of that great story from 8th grade. Or you'll see the prettiest shoes ever. Or maybe you'll want to make a collage of awesome cupcakes and share it with your readers.
Facebook and Twitter
One of the reasons I'm glad I joined Twitter is the fact that people are constantly posting links to things I find interesting, funny, terrible, and a whole slew of other emotions. I usually click all the links that are posted because I never know what I'll find that could be the genesis of a great discussion on this blog. Likewise, my friends on Facebook are pretty great at posting about fascinating stuff. And you know my Feature Writing professor is cool when he asks us to write a story using your Facebook status to get quotes-- I totally recommend doing this.
Since you're checking this blog, I imagine you, well, read blogs. And you read Gala Darling, Already Pretty, Yes and Yes, and Charade, right? These are just a few of the sites that reliably post kick-butt articles and link lists, but do check out the rest of my blogroll for awesome guys and gals who'll give you plenty to think about.
Slam Poetry
Slam poetry is poetry for everyone, because you don't even have to like to read. My favorite resource for listening to slam nowadays is Youtube, where I get my fix of Def Poetry Jam on a regular basis.
Not on the Interwebz: The Real World
Funny, inspiring, thought-provoking things happen to you every single day. I know that sometimes it doesn't seem like your life could possibly be that interesting, but you have a story, and a great one, too. If you're interested in writing for the rest of your life, especially professionally, it's a really good exercise to try to take the mundane and make it something totally readable-- even something that someone would pay to publish. One of the great things about this blog is that it encourages me to write just about every day (even on Saturday and Sunday, I usually work on something or am turning over ideas). Use yours to help yourself become the literary giant you've always wanted to be!
Where do you lovelies get inspired for blog posts? If your blog is one of those daily outfit deals, where do you get your inspirations for what to wear?
*Is this a little meta? Yeah, I admit it. It's already been a long week. You may be familiar with those almost-done-with-the-semester grumps that are ruining all my fun.
I love that I am finally for-real published. My guide to celebrating an anniversary cheaply has been published as part of Pulse Magazine's online content this month! Check out here.
I love that I still go outside and play.
I love that I know when to give up and let things go.
I love my collarbone.
I love that I'm often told I "haven't changed." I saw my best friend for the first time in a couple years and I did a video chat with a friend from middle school, and both said that about me. At first, I didn't know how to take it, but now I think it's a good thing.
I love that I'm becoming less shy.
I love my belly. Yeah, it used to be a lot flatter, but I'm okay with that.
--Me
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I love that I'm getting into reading. I'm really proud of myself.
I don't have too much against Peeps. I actually kind of like them. No one I've met since I've come to college shares my goodwill toward them. Apparently, you don't eat Peeps; you play with them.
The Washington Post holds an annual Peeps Show, dontcha know?
Here are a few of my favorites.
Check out the rest of the fourth annual Peeps Show here-- what were your favorites?
