This is How I Hope You Feel All Weekend

Happy weekend, lovelies! I'm off for some fun and dancing with the girls in celebration of our dearest Amanda's birthday. The rest of the weekend shall be low-key, spent playing videogames, snuggling with my boyfriend, munching on the occasional sweet, and reading Shakespeare. What are your plans?

Product Review That is Pretty Much Almost Not One

So remember the cupcake key cover I showed you a few weeks ago? I couldn't find it in my local Wet Seal, but there was no way I was going to let my keys go naked and friendless because of that. I ordered the tiny, smiling baked good online, and just today it arrived (thank goodness I checked the mail room early-- I wouldn't want this little dude sitting around all lonely).

First of all, it came it a very unnecessary bag that was meant to ship, like, shirts and stuff-- you know, since they mostly sell shirts and stuff. I found this hilarious and wasteful at the same time (fear not: I recycled the bag), which I made clear to my boyfriend-- who I should probably just tell you is named Luke so I don't have to keep referring to him as some nameless dude I'm dating-- when he came out of the bathroom to me laughing and shoving the bag in his face. It was 8 AM, so he didn't find it nearly as funny as I did. Go figure.

The product itself is as adorable as advertised and I just kind've stared at it at breakfast while my cheesy eggs got cold (mmm cheesy eggs). I got back to my room, though, and found when I tried to put it on my house key, it did not fit. Nope, the house key was too big for my frosting'd friend, and I got very sad for a minute and wondered what the heck to do then. The key to my mom's Hyundai (yeah, I'm so cool that I'm 20 and I drive my mom's car, what of it?) already has that black cover thingie on it that you can't remove, and the only other key there was my mailbox key, which I never use. In fact, I don't think I even know where our mailbox is at the apartment complex we now live at. That's what moms are for, I guess.

Anyway, I finally squeezed the key to my dorm room into the cupcake's tiny slot (I hope that didn't sound dirty-- sorry, little guy), and all was well with the world. Here is how cute this thing is in person:

chillin' atop my dayplanner

action shot!

Excuse the supremely crappy quality of these pictures, but my camera was woefully low on batteries and I didn't have any extra, so poor cupcake's photoshoot had to be quick and unrefined.

So I'm very happy with it, even though I don't know what I'll do with it once the semester is over and I no longer have a dorm key until late August. I suppose I'll have to stick it on my mailbox key. Maybe I'll even find out where my mailbox is.

Results May Vary

postsecret.com

*I know this is pretty old, but it's one of the best things I've ever seen.

*Zuhair Murad is one of my favorite designers. This show is absolutely incredible. I want it all.

*I didn't mean to buy a dress to match my bathroom rug!

i love shoes with multiple straps.

*Check out some PG Porn for a laugh, whether you're a pornography fan or not. No nudity involved, but you probably don't want to watch it at work or with the kiddies.

*I thought this post from Fatshionista about our perceptions of what fat people can and cannot wear was really great.

*This is the greatest rendition of Song of Storms from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time I have ever heard. If you think this is badass, check out this kid's other videos, too. He's quite talented.

*I just can't believe that a game called "Nuclear Fart Bear" actually exists. Play it just so you can tell your friends that you played a flash game called "Nuclear Fart Bear" when they ask you what you did today. Thanks to Big Mean Flash Gamer for letting me know this exists.

*Help the honey bees! You can even do it by buying ice cream! You officially have no excuse not to help.

*Finally, this picture by Terry Richardson <3:

if superheros believe that you can love whoever you want to, so should you.

These are some of the many things I'm lovin' this week, but results may vary. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Thank Goodness for These Guys

Some of my favorite shows so far:


Emporio Armani:

These were just a few outfits I especially liked-- trust me, I had quite a few more on my computer, but I figured I should pare it down a bit. This collection was so chic and so fun at the same time. I think part of what I found this collection so inspirational because every single look could be part of a normal girl's wardrobe, and without breaking the bank, too. Also, I especially loved the knee socks and hats.

Commes des Garcons:




I loved everything about this, from the guazey, heart-emblazoned headpieces and pink hair, to Kawakubo's wonderful sense for patterns (a lot better seen in other looks from the collection). I loved the playfully exaggerated layering, too (much like in the first picture). I can't imagine how many shirts these tiny models were wearing out on the runway!

Jean Paul Gaultier:

Awkward question: is anyone else reminded a little of Sasha Grey when they look at this shot of Morgane Dubled? Maybe it's the S&M theme playing tricks on me. Or the hair (I did my best to find a picture of her hair look exactly like this like I know it has but Google has failed me). Either way, I love when Gaultier does menswear for women-- never dowdy, always sexy.


Fishnets worn over striped tights=pure awesome.

Christian Lacroix:


Thanks you for tackling two of the most-debated color combinations ever: black and brown, and black and navy. No clashing in sight, if you ask me (and killer tights, by the way).

Finally, Junya Watanabe:



For the most part, the outfits were kooky enough to float my boat, but too puffy-garbage-bag-like for me to say "WOW" over; what really got me was the hair and makeup. Please take a look at the whole collection (especially the details)-- this is truly art!

Link, He Comes to Save the Day

It's a little past midnight now, but I just wanted to say we shall be back to our regularly-scheduled blogging sometimes tomorrow. I spent a good chunk of the day trying to replace my keyboard (FYI, if you break one key, you need to replace the whole keyboard, at least according to Dell-- thank God I renewed my warranty) to no avail. By "I spent" I mean I sat and played Windwaker while my boyfriend attempted to do surgery on my laptop with a pocket knife. Apparently Dell thinks that it's okay to tell you to replace your keyboard yourself, but they don't give you a tiny screwdriver in the fixer-upper kit they send you. Thanks for that. We then had to visit one of my boyfriend's friends, while also did not have a tiny screwdriver and tried to use his pocket knife to fix my laptop, again to no avail. You know, they have glasses and do not have glasses repair kits (they include tiny screwdrivers), but they have pocket knives that include corkscrews and tiny hooks that don't do anything. Priorities, people!

Anyway, there was the failure to fix my "G" key, and the fact that I was so sucked into videogames and otherwise procrastination of work that I just now got to checking out some more shows. Oopsies!

What I loved: Commes des Garcones, Jean Paul Gaultier, Christian Lacroix, and Junya Watanabe. Pictures soon, loves.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend, and that any of you who are on spring break from college are enjoying some rest, relaxation, and revelry (alliteration<3).

Don't You Hate That?

I hate when a musical artist I don't like on one or more levels comes out with a song that I really kind've can't stop listening to on Youtube and that I won't change the channel if it comes on the TV or radio. Katy Perry has finally done it to me. On one hand, I hate the idea of endorsing a woman who sings a song called "Ur So Gay" (on the grounds that the guy, among other things, listens to classical music. What?), but on the other, "Thinking of You" is really pretty after you get past the second verse when she sounds like she's pretty much burping some of the lyrics. And who can't identify with being with one person when you're still hung up on another? Admit, you've been there. Most of all, I love the music video, even though I thought the ending was extremely predictable (I won't spoil it in case you're truly interested in finding out for yourself). I can never fault a girl for dressing up all retro and glamorous and reminding me of the eras I wish I lived in. As annoying as Katy Perry is, I think she's gorgeous and totally wears the hell out of her outfits when there are no giant bananas/banana-rompers involved and she's not wearing a merry-go-round or something equally as insane (I like batshit-crazy fashion a lot less in practice than I do on the runway, and I especially don't like it on people I find annoying).

I took some screen caps from the "Thinking of You" video to demonstrate how nice it would be if Katy Perry stopped trying to be a comedienne and embraced her adorable retro side more.

I had to show you these shoes. If anything, watch the videos to see multiple shots of these shoes. They are so sick and I would do anything to borrow them. Are you listening, Katy? I know I just said you were annoying, but I'm sure we could get beyond that.

I want that umbrella. Also, I loved how they did her makeup.

Hello, nice hat. I love you.


The swing dancing scene was one of my favorites. I was born in the wrong time period.

Big sigh. The last thing I wanted to see from this woman was a drool-worthy video to a song that is actually very pretty. Damn you, Katy Perry! Damn you to hell!

Big Hopes for Faith21

As I've said before when I've mentioned plus-size fashion, I am not a plus-size woman. By the standards of a lot of brain-washed females, myself included, I am big, fat, chubby, etc. A few of years ago, I did the hell out of Weight Watchers and lost about 30 pounds, but I've gained it all back since then (gradually, allowing myself to enjoy certain foods with less restraint and not exercise as much backfired on me... oops). I find myself at a place where I realize that, even then at my skinniest, I thought I was a cow and didn't appreciate size 4 or 6 jeans and wearing a bikini with no qualms, and that that perhaps suggests I am battling my body-image moreso than the weight itself. I find myself at a place where I feel more attract now than I did at my thinnest, perhaps purely because my boyfriend makes it known that he thinks I'm gorgeous just the way I am and that I don't need to wear those size 4 or 6 jeans to make him happy. I also find myself at a place where I am, as of late, battling anxieties about my figure that make me want to do things like take diet pills for a quick fix instead of face the slower progress that comes with going back to Weight Watchers (again, my boyfriend is a big reason I haven't picked up any Hydroxycut or something-- I am so thankful that he listens to my rants and acts as my voice of reason). Even though I am not plus-size according to the clothing industry, since I still fit a large, maybe a medium, in most stores, I know what it feels like to have to reach for a larger size when I thought I'd fit the smaller, or how it feels to leave the store with nothing because if I can't fit those size x jeans, I won't buy any at all until I fit the size x, or how it feels to love a piece of clothing and it comes in every size but yours because they just don't sell that size in the store. It's all very frustrating in one's head and in the world of fashion when you're overweight. Fashion is just not a friendly place for anyone who deviates from their sense of the norm-- or rather the extreme ideal.

I am so refreshed to see a store like Forever21 that is popular with a lot of young, fashionable people and affordable to everyone announcing that they will soon be carrying a plus-size line called Faith21. I first picked up the story from Fatshionista.com, and wanted to share it with you guys, because I think this is wonderful and important and fabulous and amazing. There's an article about it here. I was especially excited to read that the line won't be online-exclusive (when it comes to plus clothes, I find the idea of "online exclusive" less cool-exclusive and more offensively we-don't-want-fat-ugly-clothes-in-our-store-exclusive)-- it will be available in an L.A. mall starting on May 1st. I'm hoping that if it's popular over in L.A., Faith21 will be available in stores all around the country. I mean, I might not wear plus-size clothing, but being an--ahem-- ample-bosomed-and-bottomed woman makes it hard to fit some of Forever21's styles, and I'm sure I'm not alone. Faith21 could be a solution for a lot of girls' problems with regular sized Forever21 stuff, which only goes up to their kinda small size Large (Faith21 will start at Extra Large).

looks like Faith21 will be very much in the spirit of its sister store.

Forever21, I love you, and I hope I love Faith21 just as much. I also hope that more stores with youth-appeal will begin embracing the idea of plus, and as such, the idea that you can look good and feel comfortable at any size.

Fall '09 Disappointmastravaganza

Not entirely true. In fact, I mostly lie. I have so many images from the Emporio Armani show saved on my computer that it's super ridiculous and I still can't think of a creative way to show my favorites to you (I tried making a collage, but it came out weird). But one of the shows I was most looking forward to was a comple-- zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... oh, damn, I fell asleep for a minute. Surely you understand what I'm trying to say. I'm talking about Gareth Pugh. I love Gareth Pugh. So much. More than chocolate pie, and I fucking love chocolate pie. But, seriously, what happened, Gareth? I want you to be completely, utterly batshit-crazy. I totally subscribe to the stereotype of fashion shows where it's just a bunch of girls walking down the runway to techno in vanilla frosting, car parts, and a ribbon. I love completely, utterly batshit-crazy fashion. You're probably thinking I exaggerated my example, and to a degree I did, but if that really happened in real life, I would have the video surgically implanted into my brain-- that is, if my heart did not explode of joy when I saw it. I depend on you, Gareth, for my dose of insanity and fun, but your show was black and relatively shapeless and almost wearable with tweaking (because they were... ugly), as if you intend to profit off your talents by selling wares. What were you thinking? Especially this.

Three words, Mr. Pugh: Glorified. Puffer Coat.

I hope that The Lord of All Things Fashiony, Juan Carlos Antonio Galliano, puts out a couple of pretty freakin' quirky shows to make up for this. Please, JCAG, be your typical completely, utterly batshit-crazy self. Or I might cry.

Letters to Hanes

Dear Hanes,
I completely respect how you've got your own thing goin' there with your reasonably-priced packages of boxers, briefs, and-- dare I say it?-- boxer-briefs. Actually, I'm a big fan of your boxer-briefs. My boyfriend and I thank you for showing us how wonderful hybrid underwear can be. I have one question, though....

Why is this man not part of your standard marketing campaign? I would argue that if you started an ad campaign of men in their underwear holding fluffy puppies, you would have every girlfriend and her mother (creepy) clamoring to buy their men Hanes underwear for the sole purpose of clipping the picture from the front of the package and creating a scrapbook to look at when said man is out of town on business. You know, just saying. Think it over.

xoxo,
Vanessa

Natalie Portman and Elmo... No, Really

If you love Natalie Portman (aka the woman who looked smokin' even with her head shaved in V for Vendetta) and Elmo, or you're having a lousy day, please watch this video. I promise you'll smile. Forsooth.